Gay Kids

So how do I keep my son from becoming another statistic, another young person pushed to deadly means to end torment by those who think his existence is a sin, ugly, and wrong? Well, there is no guarantee that I can, but I can sure as hell try.

In memory of my father, please consider writing a note to your straight friends or speaking to them in person to thank them for being allies, for loving you, and for standing up for who you are.

The challenge for moms and dads is complex. Will they support their LGBT children unconditionally and bring on the rejection of their churches, workplaces, and family members, or will they adopt Pastor Sean's methods and hope for a "conversion"?

The truth is that explaining to children (or anyone, for that matter) what being gay means isn't difficult. It only gets complicated when parents and other adults try to deny the parts about being gay that aren't related to which body part gets put where.

Schools can play a vital role in the road to acceptance between a parent and their LGBT child. Of course, this is a very sensitive subject among schools and parents. How do educators know when they are overstepping their boundaries with parents?

Over the past few months my wife has been asked numerous times what I think about our 7-year-old son identifying as gay. The idea that I would be disappointed/angry/suicidal that my son identifies as gay offends me, both as a father and simply as a human.

I am finding myself having a lot of conversations with parents lately. Part of me is annoyed that I feel I should, but the larger part of me knows it's necessary. An out first grader isn't exactly an average kid. I have the only one I know. It surprises people, and they have questions.

This week on aNoteToMyKid.com, a devout Christian mother named Shelley from Iowa City, Iowa expressed her personal journey toward accepting her gay son, Michael, while maintaining the religious faith she holds so dear to her heart.

I thought there was a fair chance that he would someday say, "I'm gay." But my kid is only 7 years old. I figured I had a few years before we crossed that threshold (if we ever did), probably when he was 14 or 15. I never thought it would happen this soon.

Fag. Homo. Queer. These were the words I grew almost accustomed to hearing as I walked the halls of my school. I hated those words. Why did they call me those things? Why did I have to suffer through that relentless taunting?

It had never crossed my mind that a teacher would not be accepting of a student because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Why would an educator bring their personal beliefs into the classroom?

Make certain your child knows being gay isn't bad, and maybe, just maybe, they won't feel the need to hide if they are. And then they'll have a better chance of growing up into that happy, healthy adult you dream they will become.

The purpose of aNoteToMyKid.com is to remind people that there is a lot of love out there, to bring family and friends closer together, and to give parents and others who may not know how to broach the subject of sexuality an opportunity to learn from example.

There is only one gift I want to give you this year: I want to give you equality. I want to wrap it up in a beautiful box, and I want to put it under our tree right now. I want to see you open it on Christmas Eve and with great joy live with it all your days.

All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names: "queer," "dickhead," "fruit," "fairy," "faggot," "ho-ho-homo," "retard," "douche," "gay," "tranny," "pussy," "sissy boy." They hit him and shoved him, and spit their reindeer spit on him.

When I talk or write about how I consider the possibility that my son might be gay, people sometimes get upset. Why do I want my son to be gay? Why do I encourage him? How am I sure?

While walking through the Pride crowd, my 6-year-old son noticed a protester for the first time. This guy was on his own, shouting Bible verses. My son studied him seriously for a moment, then turned to me: "Mommy, why is he so angry?"

One weekend, a relative was talking to my son about school, and my son mentioned his "boyfriend." This person felt it necessary to correct my son and tell him that only girls had boyfriends and boys had girlfriends.

When the news reports another innocent child driven to take their own life because of homophobia and bullying, I wonder if that kid is one of the many who have written to me. And more than that, I wonder if it is "my kid."

I do not believe that straight and gender-conforming people are any less caring or are any less concerned about our youth. Yet there is too little said and done to save the lives of LGBT youth.

I know how you feel -- six years ago, I was where you are now. I felt isolated, scared, damaged; I thought the only way out was by ending my life. I'd been hiding who I was for years by that point.