Everyone's either going to end up in jail or involved in an orgy by the end of the season, but I'm mostly just hoping that rocks fall and kill them all.
Fun Size is not as good as Gossip Girl or The O.C., but it's still unmistakably the work of Josh Schwartz.
This week's episode wasn't quite as infuriatingly regressive as 602, but it's becoming increasingly difficult to feel much empathy for any of the characters when they're all such manipulative, selfish wastes of oxygen. (I know, welcome to the entire premise of the show.)
After last week's brief, blissful injection of wit and logical storytelling, episode two of "Gossip Girl's" final season snapped back to inanity faster than you can shout "Dorota!"
"Gone Maybe Gone" succeeded in recapturing some of the sparkle that's been missing. There were knowing winks and sharp one-liners, with all of the characters generally behaving like sane and rational versions of themselves (except for Georgina).
Five little seasons ago, Twitter seemed very avant garde and bloggers were just a whisper away. Now, "Fashion Social Influencers" are commanding the front row, pulling in advertisers and becoming renowned style experts.
The year I moved to Manhattan, Gossip Girl premiered. I was infatuated with the show's fabricated lifestyle. It took only about three months for my illusions to get shattered.
I am not James Franco, obviously. The only similarity I have to the characters on Girls is I'm a writer/journalist, but I'm not struggling. Your average guy would never want to watch Gossip Girl, but they may just want to tune in to Girls. Why? As simple as it sounds, it's real -- on multiple levels.
Though there were plenty of jaw-dropping, credulity-stretching scenes in the Season 5 finale, they were shocking for all the wrong reasons. In the blink of an eye, five years of character development has fallen by the wayside.
The good thing about "Despicable B" is that the writers have apparently wised up to the fact that Blair's had totally bipolar characterization for a while now, and I guess it's better late than never to address that imbalance.
Reality shows influence teen girls to a disturbing degree. The fake characters forced down our throats by the media dictate the image of the ideal woman and set a poor example for youth.
Oh "Gossip Girl" ... this episode was so by the numbers, it could've been painted by an eight-year-old with a DIY kit and tiny paintbrush. This week, we dispensing with our usual list of OMG moments, if only because everything felt so telegraphed, there were no truly shocking revelations.
Has "Gossip Girl" finally recovered from the succession of terribly-written, clumsily-directed cheesefests that populated the middle part of the season? This week, it actually making some modicum of logical sense.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and in the case of this week's "Gossip Girl," I actually found that old adage to be true. True to form, there were schemes, lies and highly public familial spats, which is pretty much 90 percent of what we tune in for, no?
The CW has a diverse slate this year, which gives them plenty of options as they attempt to shepherd the network towards a broader, older fan base. If they pull it off, they could very well graduate from high school.
If two female characters have scenes together, are they talking about something other than their love lives? It's amazing how few movies (only two of the Academy Award nominated pictures this year) and TV series pass this test. Pretty Little Liars, however, would pass this test with flying colors.