Ebenezer Scrooge understood one needs to take care of oneself before it's even possible to take care of anyone else. His problem was that he didn't take the step of investing in his own joy, nourishing his body or his soul, and therefore couldn't be bothered to take care of anyone else.
As opposed to a family scapegoat -- an immediate family member at whom we direct unprocessed anxiety or anger -- a "safe-goat" is a person far enough outside our immediate family system at whom we can direct unprocessed anxiety or anger without inflaming conflicts between present members.
The holidays come and go every year. Don't stay stuck in a bad emotional drama. The willingness to do it differently will always create the means and ability you need. Trust yourself and have the courage to step free.
If you're having trouble caring for yourself or your family this season, reach out to a trusted loved one, friend or professional. Show your children that there is strength, not weakness, in seeking help.