Being able to forgive someone for something they did or said takes work and constitutes PURE BRAVERY in its truest form. It takes commitment and evolves in phases from anger to sadness, perhaps idling between the two for some time, culminating in the eventual recognition that you will be much lighter if in fact you can forgive.
In this way those of us who bump up against the challenge of all-out forgiveness could learn to let go while leaving those proponents of pain mentally behind. And maybe then we can forget, and, therefore, forgive; not exactly a proof-back guarantee that a future generation will escape the memories of trauma, but close.
Forgiving yourself is another way of giving yourself permission to get out of your own way. To see the truth for what it is, rather than hide behind it. If we take self-forgiveness moments, it changes our perspective, and therefore our approach to life. Our mood lifts, and we return to feeling happy and having that inner calm again.