I'd spent so long people pleasing, so long wearing the persona of introversion and staunch professionalism, and so long playing safe to avoid judgement, that I had been crippling my potential for success.
It's the season when extended families come together to celebrate the seasonal holidays. Thanksgiving is upon us, and if popular culture is to be believed, many parents and their adult children look forward to the holiday with a mix of pleasure and worry about how everyone will get along.
Autumn seems like an appropriate time to share some expert advice about regrets. Poets associate the coming of fall with lost chances, missed opportunities, and the passing of precious time. Tennyson looked at an autumn landscape and evocatively wrote the following.
You can break the emotionally abusive cycle. How? By choosing to honor, love and respect yourself. By choosing to not only eliminate people and situations that are not for your highest good from your life but acknowledging how powerful you are.
Worry is fear, not love. Your imagination is too creative and expansive to waste on worry. The people in your life are too precious to worry about, send them loving energy and positive thoughts instead. Your time is too precious to waste on fear-based thoughts.
Imagine that you're floating away and viewing a stressful situation as a detached, outside observer, above the scene. From this larger viewpoint, ask yourself whether the situation is worth worrying about. Give yourself permission to gain some perspective.
We seem to be inundated now with books about death -- and about how great it is. I assume that this is part of the aging of the baby boomers (I remember someone quipping that we'd know the end of the baby boom had come when we started to see designer funeral parlors).
Why is excessive worry such a big regret? Because, according to the elders, worry wastes your very limited and precious lifetime. By poisoning the present moment, they told me, you lose days, months, or years that you can never recover.
How can we stop worrying when part of us seems convinced that if we only do enough of it we'll stay healthy, safe, and successful for the rest of our lives? By recognizing that worry is a poor substitute for knowledge, intuition and inspiration.
Worrying is actually a socially acceptable way of saying you live in fear of what may happen in the future. Most likely, you also lack present-moment consciousness, since you cannot be here now while constantly projecting catastrophically into the future.
It's painful to be stuck in negative thinking. When this goes on for a long period of time or when it interferes with your ability to function it's important to find strategies to lessen these symptoms.