Start at 6:00 a.m. This is going to be a long day but those few minutes (aim, high, young man!) of bliss are going to be worth it. Keep your eye on the prize. I repeat, keep your motherf*cking eye on the prize (this can be a literal translation).
Life in a family is constant triage; need always dictates priority. Children and their things and their needs osmose around the corners. Sounds come through: a burst of laughter, a slammed door, maybe a faucet left on. You shouldn't have to choose where your heart goes. You don't have to choose.
If you're part of a couple -- or have ever been part of one -- you know that couples do some pretty strange things. Here's a few of those things all couples do that seem a little wacky but really are completely normal.
I know in time, things will feel better. It really does help heal. I still have some really sad days. I have some incredibly happy days, too. On a lot of days, I feel both. But still I grieve... which for now, is exactly what I need to do.
According to the older men, one key to a long marriage can be summed up as "give your partner's interests a try." Among unhappy couples and divorced elders, resentment of a spouse's independent interests shone through. The partner's passion for an activity was seen as a threat to the relationship.
There are several keys to being an effective partner in a marriage. First and foremost you have to know yourself well enough to be wise to your motivations, quirks, downfalls and strengths which will impact your marriage and you must know those same elements in your partner.
Reflecting on my own upcoming marriage, I don't buy into the idea that I'd be the gentle caregiver preoccupied with the household and children while my husband, the strong breadwinner, occupies his mind with the family's finances and ponders the 'big things' thoughtfully by swirling his scotch.
There are many residual wounds that linger long after the affair for all couples but if the cheated-on person was given an STD this has many deeper layers of anger, hurt and betrayal, which further exacerbate the experience of infidelity.
I have never been one to complain about my lot -- after all coming out as a lesbian was, for me, a kind of freedom (and I wouldn't trade my life for any other). But I was reminded of the fact that it is still hard to be gay by three new books that I recently read.
The race wasn't some bathed-in-warm-light ending -- or a new beginning. We still had more radiation ahead plus uncertainty beyond that. But we also had more biking and bike races, dancing, trips to the beach, great nights of music and wine and good food ahead of us.