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Inner Bonding

The Joy and Grace of Loving

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 05.21.2014 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Love is not something that is generated from within us. Love is what enters our mind and heart and soul when we open to it. Love is what we live in -- it's the intelligence of the universe and the life force that keeps us alive.

Does Anger Help or Hurt Relationships?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 11.25.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Sometimes letting the steam out of the pot can be helpful in avoiding future resentment, provided both of you learn to be non-reactive, to not take it personally, and to not say hurtful things when angry or irritated.

6 Healthy Reasons to Be in a Relationship

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 11.19.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

When you take responsibility for doing the inner work to learn to love and value yourself, you become filled up with love to share, and it is fulfilling to share your love with a partner.

4 Powerful Ways to Lovingly Manage Rejection

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 11.11.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Most of the time, when someone rejects someone else, it's because something is going on within them. Whatever the reason they are being rejecting, it's not about you!

Why Do People Cheat on Their Partners?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 10.29.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Cheating is quite common and the reasons are multiple. Rather than reviewing the many reasons people cheat, I'm going to focus on one of the main one -- self-abandonment.

Can Love Last?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 10.21.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

There is a good reason why sometimes love lasts and other times it doesn't. It has to do with what qualities both you and the other person fall in love with.

Do You Believe You Deserve Love?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 10.14.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

We all deserve love -- just because we exist. You will know you deserve love when you are loving to yourself.

Do You Know How to Love Yourself?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 09.23.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

If you were not well-loved as a child, or you didn't have parents or other caregivers who role-modeled loving themselves, it may be hard to know what it means to love yourself and difficult to know how to do it.

8 Keys to Creating a Loving, Joyful Relationship

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 09.17.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Do you believe that if you have to work on a relationship, it's not the right relationship for you? Having worked with couples for 45 years, I can tell you without a doubt that this is NOT true!

'I Say I Want A Relationship, But Do I Really?'

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 09.08.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Warren's dilemma is that he doesn't want to be alone and lonely, but he tends to give himself up in relationships in order to not be rejected, and then he shuts down due to losing himself.

5 Keys to Attracting the Love of Your Life

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 09.02.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

We attract people at our common level of woundedness or our common level of emotional health. This means that if you want to attract a healthy, loving partner, you need to become that healthy person first.

The Powerful Key to Creating a Loving Relationship

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 08.24.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Instead of rejecting and abandoning themselves by avoiding responsibility for their own feelings with various addictions, loving people take full responsibility for their own pain and joy so that they are not needy of someone doing this for them.

Have You Made It Okay to Fail?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 08.17.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Life changes when you make it okay to fail. To me, the only true failure is not making an effort toward what brings you joy, and the only way you can do this is by making it okay to fail.

Are You Jealous? Is Your Partner Jealous?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 08.10.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

People who reject and abandon themselves often feel jealous. People who love and value themselves do not feel jealous. They are not threatened by others, because they know their own intrinsic worth.

Why You're Sabotaging Your Relationships (And How To Stop)

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 08.02.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Do you sometimes find that you sabotage yourself in your work or your relationships? Have you wondered why you would do that? Here are some of the beliefs that might trigger your fears or your resistance to taking loving action in your own behalf.

Why You Keep Attracting Unavailable People

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 07.25.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

I hear it over and over: "Are there any available men?" "Why are all the women I attract unavailable?" There are two issues that often contribute to this situation.

7 Ways To Reignite That Special Spark

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 07.15.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Connection with your partner is vital for your well-being and the well-being of the relationship. If you find that any of these suggestions are hard for you, then do some inner work to discover what is in the way.

What Do You Mean When You Say 'I Love You'?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 07.06.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

The English language is very limited when it comes to words having to do with love -- we only have the one word. Having only one word can present a problem when it comes to understanding what someone is saying when they say "I love you."

What Not To Do When You're Fighting

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 07.04.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

All relationships have conflict. Conflicts are a part of life and can provide an opportunity for learning and growth -- if they are approached with caring for yourself and the other person.

Does Your Relationship Lack Passionate Sex? 7 Ways to Bring The Passion Back

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 06.22.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Feeling fully seen, accepted, valued and cherished are really wonderful experiences, and these feelings can generate the kind of safety that leads to intimacy, spontaneity and aliveness in the relationship and in the bedroom.

10 Signs You're In Love

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 06.14.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

"How do I know when I'm really in love?" "What does it mean to be in love?" "I think I'm in love, but then I have doubts." Such a big question! And we all wish there was an easy answer -- a formula we could follow to determine if we are in love.

7 Reasons You Might Have Fallen Out of Love With Your Partner

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 06.05.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Unless you are able to learn from and heal your fears, you may get stuck in this negative pattern. Love quickly vanishes in the face of this closed, protective behavior.

Are You Love Addicted?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 05.25.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Valuing yourself can start by lovingly seeing the innocent child within you -- your essence. This is your true self, and may have been covered over by the fears and false beliefs of your ego-wounded self that you created as you grew up, to try to get love and avoid pain.

The 7-Step Guide to Misery

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 05.18.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Why would someone make the choice to be miserable? Because it is often a way of getting attention and of attempting to get someone else to be responsible for them. If this is what you want, here is a roadmap to make sure you accomplish your goal!

Do You Compare Yourself to Others?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 05.12.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

The more you learn to love and value your unique essence, the less you will find yourself comparing yourself to others. There is only one you. You are incomparable!