When I finally took a minute to slow down, stop doing, and start observing, I saw that I wasn't in control of my life. The reigns had been taken over by my inner critic, the little voice inside that never seems to shut up and only gets louder when you ignore it.
In truth, we don't need studies to tell us that a self-esteem deficit clearly exists in our society. Just talk to any teenager, or small child for that matter, and ask them if there is something that they feel critical of in themselves. The answers are sure to shock you.
How many books have most of us read on leadership, performance, or marketing, for business? What about psychological books, or perhaps, we've even drifted off into the area of new age Law of Attraction books? We are always in search of the answer.
We see people's highlight reels and think they have it easy. The mom who lost 50+ pounds and looks amazing; it had to be easy. The mom who seems to have it all together, who has been told, parenting just comes naturally to you. The business owner who seems to have it all.
Life is too precious to waste it lost in our heads, evaluating ourselves, one step removed from our own experience. We can more fully live our life by paying attention to our senses and being willing to feel what we are actually experiencing at any given moment in time.
You always hear, "Live in the present moment!" Okay, great! But how? Self-awareness without solutions is useless! So, we're going to break free from that inner roommate and find silence in the present.
Many of us grow up with deflating messages that something's wrong with us, we're not good enough, and we don't measure up. When the water we swim in is saturated with shame, we may not notice casual acts of caring or spontaneous expressions of love.
Something amazing happened on this holiday. It seems that all the years of spiritual practice kind of kicked in. When I stopped judging myself for the experience I was having, stopped hating myself for hating vacation, I discovered two wonderful things: humor and compassion.
When we learn mindfulness, we gain the power of familiarizing ourselves with our thoughts and our patterns. We can get to know our critical inner voices, and we can start to recognize when these cruel thoughts start to surface.
Why would someone make the choice to be miserable? Because it is often a way of getting attention and of attempting to get someone else to be responsible for them. If this is what you want, here is a roadmap to make sure you accomplish your goal!
In life, the person you spend the most time with is yourself. You are always in your own company. Why not keep company with someone who loves you as opposed to someone who does not particularly like you, or worse?
Think of the times we say things we regret about other women. Who are we saying these things to? In what context do these feelings arise? And most importantly, what are the underlying feelings driving the negative comment?