It hit me then that, the fear that people kept alluding to stems from a lack of acceptance that my children have other families. People who have a place at the table so to speak. I don't know if it is because we crossed racial lines or if the fact that they were toddlers when we became their parents, their heritage is a real, living presence in our lives.
It's always valuable to think about if there are any actions we take that push our partner away. If we're acting in a way we respect, and we still don't feel like we're getting what we want, we can make a conscious decision to talk about it with our partner or change the situation, but we never have to feel victimized or allow ourselves to act in ways that we don't respect.
Understanding people's preferences with the food they receive is helpful because at Feeding America, we want to be sure we are distributing food that people can eat, and not food they avoid due to dietary, health, religious or cultural reasons (for example). We want to be sure we are not wasting resources by distributing food that goes uneaten.