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Jeffrey Toobin

How I Grabbed the Best Bedroom in the Guest House

Wendy Braitman | Posted 05.25.2011 | Style
Wendy Braitman

As we head into July 4th, this might be a good time to remind people in pairs that singles often greet summer holiday weekends not with anticipation, but with dread.

Save The Books! Famous People (and Others) Tell You What Books To Buy

Glynnis MacNicol | Posted 05.25.2011 | Media
Glynnis MacNicol

I reached out to a few well-known types (Fred Armisen, Brian Williams, Arianna, to name a few) who were generous enough to offer their holiday book recommendations. Let the recommending begin!

Sam Stein

Noonan, York, Toobin And Others Take Aim At McCain

HuffingtonPost.com | Sam Stein | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics

With 22 days left before the voters hit the polls, conservative pundits and media commentators are scratching their heads over the lack of direction -...

Jed Lewison

Toobin: It's No-Drama Obama vs. The Erratic Fence-Swinger

HuffingtonPost.com | Jed Lewison | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics

Jeffrey Toobin absolutely nailed one of the key differences that will be on display tonight as Barack Obama and John McCain debate each other: their i...

Palin Blasts Obama's Ties to Weather Channel

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

Gov. Palin said that she learned about Sen. Obama's ties to The Weather Channel last week "when I was trying hard to read The New York Times."

O.J. Seeks Bailout

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

Simpson made his case for the government bailing him out of jail, arguing that as long as he is a free man he is likely to become involved in other criminal cases that could generate much-needed television revenue.

Palin's Debate Performance Sponsored by Mad Libs™

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

In exchange for the exclusive sponsorship, Mad Libs™ agreed to provide Gov. Palin with a special Mad Libs™ edition composed entirely of answers to vice-presidential debate questions.

McCain to Hide Inside Podium at Debate

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

He plans to crouch inside the podium out of view of the audience, whispering key bits of information to Gov. Palin, such as the names of any Supreme Court decision other than Roe v. Wade.

Somali Pirates Take Break for Jewish Holidays

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

Somaili pirates who stunned the world by seizing a Ukrainian ship announced today that they would take a brief hiatus from terrorizing the high seas out of respect for the Jewish holidays.

McCain Replaces Palin with Startled Deer

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

According to campaign insiders, the decision to select a hoofed mammal to replace Gov. Palin evolved after Sen. McCain watched his running mate's performance in a series of interviews with CBS's Katie Couric.

Levi Johnston Liveblogs the Debate

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

Every time McCranky says "my friends," me and my boyz do another round of Jagerbombs. Fu**in excellent right? I am gonna be totally fu**in wasted before that a-hole shuts his pie-hole.

McCain Proposes Sending Troops to South America to Invade Spain

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

"Spain can run, but it cannot hide," McCain told his audience at a rally in St. Louis. "I am fully prepared to invade Spain, and if that means sending troops to South America, then so be it."

McCain Attacks Washington, Republicans, Old White Men with White Hair

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

Sen. McCain attacked the power elite on Wall Street, calling them "wealthy plutocrats with private jets and too many houses to keep track of."

Pitbull Owners Blast Palin

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

Gov. Palin's wisecrack was the last straw for Carol Foyler, the executive director of the Pitbull Anti-Defamation League: "We're all like, first the Michael Vick thing, and now this."

Levi Johnston's Convention Diary

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

There is some seriously weird stuff goin on up in here!!! So I get off the plane in Minnesota and the first thing I know some creepy old dude who smells like my grandma is gettin up in my grille.

GOP Campaign Increasingly Resembling Unproduced Goldie Hawn Film

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

The GOP campaign for the White House is looking more and more like the screenplay for an unproduced Goldie Hawn film from the 1980's, a Goldie Hawn fi...

McCain: Obama Lacks Experience Running 5,000-Person Town in Alaska

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

Sen. McCain unleashed a savage attack on Sen. Obama, claiming that his Democratic opponent would be "at a loss" when faced with the challenges of running a 5000-person municipality in Alaska.

New McCain Ad Attacks Obama Kids

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

In the ad, which is being broadcast in key swing states, an announcer intones, "They're the cutest children in the world - but are they ready to lead?"

Bill Clinton's Convention Speech to Be on Five-Second Delay

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

For his part, former President Clinton said that he was "surprised" by the DNC's decision to institute the five-second delay, but added, "It's just like those motherf*ckers."

Biden Prepares 50,000-Word Acceptance Speech

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

Representatives of television news divisions said they were undecided as to how to cover the Biden speech, but none were willing to commit to covering it live in its entirety.

Cindy McCain 'Unsure' How Many Half-Sisters She Has

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

Cindy McCain responded to a reporter's question today about how many half-sisters she had by saying that she was "unsure" about the exact number but would have "a staff member look into it."

Poll: Obama Faring Poorly Among Racists

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

Likely bigots chose McCain over Obama by a margin of one thousand to one, with a majority of racists saying they "strongly disagree" with Sen. Obama's decision not to be white.

China's Gold Medals Found to Have High Lead Content

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Entertainment
Andy Borowitz

The medals, which were supposed to be made entirely of gold, were instead found to be composed of 99% lead alloy and coated with a gold-colored lead-based paint.

Athlete without Compelling Personal Drama Expelled from Olympics

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Entertainment
Andy Borowitz

A member of the U.S. Olympic diving team was disqualified from competition today when it was learned that he did not have a sufficiently compelling human storyline to exploit on NBC.

Enquirer Publishes Photo of Baby with $400 Haircut

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

Minutes after John Edwards admitted having an extramarital affair during the 2008 campaign, a supermarket tabloid published potentially explosive photos of an infant with a $400 haircut.