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Joke Horoscopes

Take My Advice, Yo!

Jessica A. Gross | Posted 02.27.2013 | Miami
Jessica A. Gross

As Mars enters your sector of self, make sure to not get pulled in two different directions. You can avoid feeling overwhelmed by hiring a look-a-like actor to deal with all of those annoying chores.

Take My Advice, Yo!

Jessica A. Gross | Posted 01.30.2013 | Miami
Jessica A. Gross

Gemini (May 21-June 20) -- You may find your wheels are spinning and you are going nowhere fast. Just remember to step back and realize that the chain on your bicycle has been broken for three months. Take it to get fixed.