Jokes

JOKE: The Tricky Science Professor

Posted 06.01.2012

A geology professor stood before her class and poured a pile of rocks and stones into a large cylinder. She asked the students if the jar was full, an...

Did That Come Outta Me?

David Misch | Posted 05.15.2012

David Misch

We don't like to be reminded of what we are underneath and nothing reminds us more thoroughly than being unable to suppress our animal urges, meaning every kind of -cation from defe- to forni-.

What's in the Highway Bill?

James Kotecki | Posted 05.04.2012

James Kotecki

Next week, House and Senate lawmakers will begin negotiating a massive new transportation bill. Where does all the money go?

CARTOON: The Truth About Shoes

Posted 05.01.2012

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VIDEO: Seinfeld Loves His Cell

Posted 04.30.2012

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VIDEO: Updating At The Altar

Posted 04.27.2012

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JOKE: The Touchy-Feely Doctor

Posted 04.19.2012

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor walked in and began ex...

JOKE: Waxing Wise With Woody Allen

Posted 04.18.2012

"A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, 'Doc, my brother's crazy, he thinks he's a chicken.' The doctor says, 'Why don't you turn him in?' The guy say...

VIDEO: Laughing In Church

Posted 04.17.2012

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JOKE: Satan And The Wall Street Guy

Posted 04.13.2012

A Wall Street trader is sitting in his office late one night, when suddenly Satan appears across his desk. “Who are you?” asks the trader? ...

VINTAGE COMEDY: Remembering Mitch Hedberg

Posted 04.12.2012

"I like escalators because an escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see a sign that said, 'Escalator temporarily out-o...

JOKE: Rita Rudner On Romance

Posted 04.10.2012

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." —Rita Rudner "Marriages don't ...

JOKE: Sex And The Senior Citizen

Posted 04.04.2012

An 80-year-old man is being examined by his doctor. “Do you still have sex?” the doctor asks. “Almost every day,” the old man answers. ...

Fox and MSNBC Merge, Israelis and Palestinians Make Peace and Other April Fools News

Scott Blakeman | Posted 06.02.2012

Scott Blakeman

The Israeli-Palestinian peace breakthrough apparently came when Israel agreed to give Palestinians the credit for inventing falafel. The Palestinians, in return, said "Without Israel, there would be no hummus."

April Fools' Day Spotlights Five Bogus Breakthroughs

Posted 04.01.2012

By: Natalie Wolchover, Life's Little Mysteries Staff Writer Published: 03/30/2012 11:18 AM EDT on LiveScience Scientists and science journals ar...

WATCH: One Man's Quest To Rid Space Of Cats

Posted 03.31.2012

By: SPACE.com Staff Published: 03/30/2012 06:35 PM EDT on SPACE.com Brant Widgen is so good at his job that you are not aware of the widespread ...

JOKE: Jay Leno's Favorite Joke

| Posted 03.29.2012

A man is in a hospital, and he’s hanging in traction. Every bone is broken. He’s bandaged from head to toe, looks like a mummy—except for one li...

JOKE: Here's To The Ladies Who Dine

Posted 03.25.2012

A group of 40-year-old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean House ...

POLL: Are You Planning Any April Fool’s Day Trickery?

Posted 03.23.2012

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VIDEO: What Is It About Crime TV Shows...?

Posted 03.22.2012

Comedy Central Stand-Up Get More: Jokes,Joke of the Day,Funny Jokes See More Laughs (function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTa...

JOKE: The Late Walk Home

Posted 03.23.2012

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was toddling along unsteadily, he was stopped by a policeman...

JOKE: It's So Cold That...

Posted 03.21.2012

A man is talking on the phone to a friend who lives in northern Montana, just near the Canadian border. The friend says that, since early that morning...

CARTOON: What Makes Chickens Chicken?

Posted 03.22.2012

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VIDEO: Rita Rudner's Secrets About Women

Posted 03.21.2012

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JOKE: Moms In Beverly Hills

Posted 03.21.2012

Two Beverly Hills women are shopping on Rodeo Drive when one of them notices a child in a baby carriage. "Oh, look at that beautiful baby!" says th...