No matter whether you hear him called -- "George Cambridge," "George Wales" or "George Mountbatten-Windsor" -- the closest thing to a statutory surname that our new little prince will have will be "Windsor."
To address when I commented -- with deliberate irony -- how "brilliant a royal Kate is" [for having a boy], perhaps I should share the historical context that some appear to have missed, where many a royal wife suffered at the hands of her husband for not producing a male heir.
In this age of 24-7 paparazzi shots, most high profile new mothers hide out until they get their figures back into photo ready mode. But Middleton didn't do that, instead showing what a real mother's body looks like immediately after birth.
Royal Prince babies and Weiners! It has been one heck of a week. Who knew things would be so eventful. I don't understand Anthony Weiner though... how can you just keep messin' up like that?
Harry's role in this young family's life is an important and unique aspect of the bond that has developed between William and Harry. This, in turn, can also inform our understanding of sibling relationships in general.
How did we get to this ridiculous place, where losing the baby weight is a competitive sport followed by millions?
You may feel your children have nothing in common with the newborn Prince, but they share something with every other child on this planet.
It's not that I am not happy for Will and Kate -- I suppose that I am, as I would be for any couple giving birth to a healthy baby. However, I simply couldn't watch all the media coverage, as it brought up all the pain, time and energy I spent in pursuit of my own baby bump, birth and baby.
But seriously ya'll, I truly believe that if Jesus came back today, he would probably be holding his face in his hands in utter disbelief. In fact, I'd even bet that he'd opt for a name change.
To help the royal family sort through the long list of potential "wannabe princesses," here is a cheat sheet of play-date-worthy tots and those to avoid on the playground.
But the American media obsession with the British monarchy, and the line of succession, is appalling. I mean, really: Who cares who'll be king? This isn't Game of Thrones (unfortunately).
In the spirit of continuing to blend tradition and her own thoroughly modern mark on the royal family, this is my official royal request for Kate to add blogger to her title.
Most of the world is joyously welcoming the arrival of the Prince of Cambridge. And while I find myself caught up in the excitement, what would give me real cause for celebration is if Kate does the very ordinary but extraordinarily important motherly act of breastfeeding her baby.
More hot weather is in store for the little prince -- and every other kid born into this generation. By the middle of this century, according to Greater London Authority, most summers in London will be as hot as the city's epic heat wave of 2003, which killed an estimated 600 people.
This week The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge join millions of parents in the latter phase of parenting, one which will necessitate very active roles in ensuring their child fulfills their personal hopes as well as the hopes of an entire country and world... no small task for certain.
The original William & Kate is basically the Sharknado of rom-coms. It's so bad, with a touch of nonsensicalness, that you can't help but have a soft spot in your heart for it.