I've concluded is that my kinkiness and my depression are related--in that they're of a piece with who I am. I don't get to pick and choose these facets of my identity, so they have to learn to coexist. I try not to play if I'm so depressed that I feel disoriented, or unfocused, or angry with myself.
I got an unexpected package in the mail the other day. Because I'm a book reviewer, I somehow ended up on the list of folks who get review copies from Cleis Press, a publisher of feminist erotica. Imagine my surprise when I opened my package at the counter of the local post office to find a brand new copy of 'The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge.'