Over the past year, I had several conversations about sexual compulsivity. Collecting background information for Sexed, a novel about sex addiction, I learned that the problem, in various interpretations, is a serious concern for many gay men.
John Oliver's brilliant piece did a marvelous job laying out many of the problems in the abstinence-only approach, from its emphasis on shame and ineffectiveness in preventing unplanned pregnancy or STIs to its harmful neglect of the needs of LGBTQ teens.
If you're a member of any group that's been shut out, pushed aside, forgotten or made fun of, you'll never change anything by following the rules. The rules are what marginalized you in the first place. You've got to break a few of them if you want to make history.
Non-white people uphold and participate and support racism every day simply by existing, but they will never experience the privilege of whiteness existing in a system designed to keep white peoples on top.
While I shed tears of joy on Supreme Court marriage day, a whole new doom cloud of fears set in. Now that marriage is law of the land, us gays were going to start to feel some of the same stupid social pressures everyone else did. Cue the headache.
It's up to advocates to create the right legal and policy environments for those athletes, coaches, and fans to live their lives openly. And two recent civil rights developments have the potential to do that.
If there was one thing you could do that would ensure that your family members would have a reduced chance of suicide, substance abuse, unsafe sex, and homelessness, would you do it? That one thing we can all do is accept and support our LGBTQ family members. That is how #LoveWins.
I recognize that in some contexts the word 'cis-' is useful, particularly in legal documents. I also understand the alienating nature of 'othering' language, which would include making a binary of 'trans' and 'nontrans'. However, a 'trans'/'cis-' binary is a problem.
If we're going to be accepted by the world, we've got to learn to accept ourselves first. And to do that, we need to get over feeling bad. If we're going to do it, if we're going to give up feeling bad, we need to dispense with this foolish notion that shame and feeling bad are helping.
I lost a friend, but I haven't lost hope. I wake up every morning, wondering if this will be the day I meet the man of my realistic, 40 year-old dreams -- someone who hasn't been in my life in another capacity; a man with whom a history will begin... now.
Some who know me and my work would be very surprised that I have been slow to come out to my stepson. Even for a hard core transgender activist and sex educator, confronting the shame that I may be dumping on my kids head in the middle of teenage angst and middle school has been hard to bear.
Beyoncé has yet to respond to her hometown's request for help. If she does decide to take a stand against the effort to rollback basic non-discrimination protections in Houston, she'll likely have a monumental impact on the outcome of the vote in November.