What does marriage mean to me and my wife? How is it different from what we imagined? How is it the same as what society presents about marriage? Can we live queerly in marriage? How? Why? Is marriage good for our sexuality? For our sex lives? Is marriage good for our sense of happiness? Or does it bring new layers of misery?
I now find myself turning the age that is supposed to be "the new 30," but that feels like a mathematical impossibility. I've realized that it's not the aging process itself that I fear. I do my best to fear only things I have some control over, like icky spiders and abdominal fat. It is the stigma of age that I fear most.
When you work on issues that directly affect people's lives, it's easy for passion to overcome politeness. That said, there are some lines you just don't cross. Recently, on Tallahassee radio station WFLA, Florida Family Policy Council president John Stemberger crossed one of the most basic lines we have: racism.
Wife is such a loaded word for lesbians. When I married my girlfriend, it took at least six months before I could call her wife. I'd skate around the issue; she was my partner, my spouse, my lover. All of those words seemed more appropriate than wife. Wife comes with ownership -- baggage neither of us could carry.