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Letting Go of the Quest for the Big O

Pam Costa | Posted 09.28.2015 | Women
Pam Costa

Maybe it was because I really didn't want to go to the party we were invited to. Maybe it was because we recently took a class encouraging us to explore each other's bodies with curiosity. Whatever the reason, something very different happened that night when we began to have sex.

The Day I Trusted My Husband to Tie Me Up

Pam Costa | Posted 09.21.2015 | Women
Pam Costa

We sat on the judo mats in a small studio in downtown San Francisco surrounded by 20 other strangers in yoga clothes. Over the last few months, my husband and I had been exploring different ways of connecting physically and this class in Shibari, an ancient Japanese form of rope bondage, seemed full of possibilities.

Love and Sex in the Desert

Pam Costa | Posted 09.08.2015 | Women
Pam Costa

As we were driving to Burning Man at the end of last summer, I came across a listing for a class called "Intimate Breathwork & Eyegazing". The workshop promised to help couples connect in a very deep way and I thought "I want to connect in a deep way with my husband... let's do this."

Middle-Aged Women, This Is How To Get Your Sex Drive Back

Ellen Dolgen | Posted 08.28.2015 | Fifty
Ellen Dolgen

Are we meant to resign ourselves to live out the second half of our lives as though we're holed up in a convent? No! Just because you've reached a certain age, it doesn't mean you no longer have a need for good sex in your life.

A Pill for Libido. Really?

Rose Kumar, M.D. | Posted 08.24.2015 | Fifty
Rose Kumar, M.D.

As an internist who sees hundreds of women in the second half of life, I am all too familiar with women's waning libidos. Having gone through menopau...

The FDA, Finances and Feminism: Why the Third Time Was the Charm for So-Called 'Female Viagra'

Elizabeth Yuko | Posted 08.24.2015 | Healthy Living
Elizabeth Yuko

Money can't buy happiness but evidently is instrumental in gaining FDA approval for controversial drugs with low efficacy and significant side effects...

'Til Death (or Feedback) Do Us Part

Pam Costa | Posted 08.17.2015 | Women
Pam Costa

Things were going pretty well for my husband and me in our first few months of seeing a sex therapist. I let go of some not-so-helpful beliefs about sex and took ownership over my sexuality.

5 Things You Should Never Do Before Sex

The Huffington Post | Yagana Shah | Posted 08.06.2015 | Fifty

A recent study proved what many post 50s already know -- older people are having sex. A lot of sex. Clearly, they know a thing or two about getti...

From Here to [Fantasy]

Pam Costa | Posted 08.04.2015 | Women
Pam Costa

What if instead of being worried about what could go wrong with the conversation, or whether my partner would be interested in doing any of the things that appeal to me, what if I could just give myself permission to think deeply about what I really wanted, and then actually say it out loud?

Masturbation Is Wrong. Wait. What?

Pam Costa | Posted 07.21.2015 | Women
Pam Costa

When I decided to confront what I had perceived as "low libido," I realized that if I could masturbate, then I clearly had the capacity to turn myself on. And with that realization, I began to wonder if getting over my embarrassment about masturbation might be key to unlocking the sexual tiger within.

7 Things Jane Fonda Taught Us About Sex

The Huffington Post | Yagana Shah | Posted 07.20.2015 | Fifty

Jane Fonda knows good sex. And not just because of her series of bestselling (and somewhat sexy) fitness videos. The 77-year-old actress has...

3 Answers To The Libido Question You're Too Embarrassed To Ask

Posted 07.14.2015 | OWN

If you're feeling less hot than bothered these days, you're not alone. This was tied as the number one write-in response to our survey of most e...

8 Things The 'Golden Girls' Taught Us About Sex

The Huffington Post | Yagana Shah | Posted 07.16.2015 | Fifty

Forget "Sex and the City." Blanche, Rose, Dorothy and Sophia were the real trailblazers when it came to women's sexuality on TV. Known for its raunc...

3 Myths About Low Libido

Pam Costa | Posted 07.06.2015 | Healthy Living
Pam Costa

A year ago, my partner and I made the decision to start seeing a sex and relationship coach. Through our journey, I've debunked a few myths about l...

Play Like a Kid

Pam Costa | Posted 06.09.2015 | Women
Pam Costa

It may seem strange that writing about playing like a kid is part of a series of blogs about sex, but let's face it, sex is just another form of play. Sure, it's adult play, but if you've forgotten how to play like a kid, my guess is that you're not maximizing the potential for enjoyment in your sex life. At least I certainly wasn't.

What a Strawberry Taught Me About Sex

Pam Costa | Posted 05.26.2015 | Women
Pam Costa

So how can a strawberry teach me to be present? In the past, I relied heavily on touch to keep me immersed in a sexual encounter. But the reality is that I have four other awesome senses that can help keep me present and connected with my partner

5 Myths About Senior Sex That We Should All Stop Believing

The Huffington Post | Yagana Shah | Posted 05.22.2015 | Fifty

When a recent study revealed that baby boomers had more sexual partners than their children, millennials around the world may have been horrified at t...

Give Me a Kiss to Build a Dream On

Pam Costa | Posted 05.19.2015 | Women
Pam Costa

We decided to conduct an experiment where he would plant a very bold Hollywood-style kiss on me when he arrived home for dinner. This dramatic entrance kick-started the trajectory and was silly enough to throw me off my typical rejection response.

Why Too Much Sex Is Like Too Much Ice Cream

Pam Costa | Posted 05.12.2015 | Women
Pam Costa

My husband's desire was higher than mine, so he initiated sex more frequently than I would otherwise crave it. Over the course of time I rarely had the opportunity to spontaneously feel and connect with my desire of my own accord. This was a very painful state.

Changing the Playlist in My Head

Pam Costa | Posted 05.07.2015 | Women
Pam Costa

A year later, I have added a bunch of new mantras to my playlist. The voices in my head are still funny and sarcastic, but I love them the most when they channel their sassy and sexy sides and whisper things like "Go ahead, you have time for a little unexpected pleasure right now."

When Picture Perfect Isn't Picture Perfect

Pam Costa | Posted 06.30.2015 | Women
Pam Costa

It's an interesting experience, this being the partner with lower desire in a long-term relationship. In my case, the way this played out over two decades is that I fell into a routine of only having sex with my husband when he initiated.

Breathing All the Way Down... to There

Pam Costa | Posted 06.23.2015 | Women
Pam Costa

When I went with my husband to a sex and relationship coach for the first time, I was really nervous. My desire had been much less than my husband's for well over a decade and I didn't even know how to begin the conversation.

10 Ways You Can Boost Your Libido Tonight

The Huffington Post | Ann Brenoff | Posted 04.23.2015 | Fifty

Not feeling as frisky in the foyer as you once were? While age may be a contributing factor, sexual aversion disorder -- with the somewhat appropriate...

Nina Bahadur

8 Women On When Antidepressants Killed Their Sex Drives | Nina Bahadur | Posted 04.16.2015 | Women

Women are two and a half times more likely than men to take an antidepressant medication -- and for many, it's affecting their sex lives. Accordin...

Why I Started a Blog About Sex

Pam Costa | Posted 06.14.2015 | Women
Pam Costa

I've been with my husband for 20 years. And we've had a pretty awesome marriage by most measures. But they say you'll either fight about sex or money. And for us, it wasn't money.