My own early years acclimating as a gay man carry some of the deepest wounds of my life. For a while, I sacrificed my education, carried shame about my sexuality, made horrible dating choices, and looked for my self-esteem in the nightclubs. Now I have a deep and visceral need to give Griffin the advice and friendship from an older gay man that I didn't have.
When it comes to taking full responsibility for your own experiences or taking none, there's a continuum. Some of us blame our circumstances and our feelings on the external world and other people. Some of us actually take too much responsibility for our "stuff." Despite my anecdotes above, I have realized I'm on the too much responsibility side of the continuum.