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Loss of Spouse

Why The Color Blue Is Associated With Sadness

Laurie Burrows Grad | Posted 12.01.2016 | Fifty
Laurie Burrows Grad

I've always wondered why people use the term 'feeling blue' when they are sad. The color that clouded my horizons after Peter died was most certainly gray, not blue. I felt I was in a bad British mystery movie, in the midst of a gray, hazy, dense fog and I couldn't find my way through the mist.

The Healing Language Of Touch When You're Grieving

Laurie Burrows Grad | Posted 11.16.2016 | Fifty
Laurie Burrows Grad

Those in grief will tell you that it is the lack of touch that bothers them the most.

How I Am Grieving My Husband's Loss With This Election Result All Over Again

Laurie Burrows Grad | Posted 11.12.2016 | Fifty
Laurie Burrows Grad

On election eve, I was amidst a group of politically like-minded souls, watching television in anticipation of seeing the first woman break the glass ...

The One Word That Gives This Widow Some Comfort

Laurie Burrows Grad | Posted 06.28.2016 | Fifty
Laurie Burrows Grad

Saudade is a Portuguese expression that is almost untranslatable. The best way to describe it is: the presence of absence. It is a longing for someone or something that you remember fondly but know you can never experience again.

The Plus Side Of Flying Through Life Solo

Laurie Burrows Grad | Posted 06.22.2016 | Fifty
Laurie Burrows Grad

My blogs reflect the pain of my journey through grief since the death of my husband last August. I cry, I meditate, but I also try to be positive. I decided to write a blog about the plus side of being solo. It won't take the pain away but it is a positive step on the road to healing.

What It Was Like To Attend My 50th College Reunion Without My Spouse

Laurie Burrows Grad | Posted 06.12.2016 | Fifty
Laurie Burrows Grad

Penn held so many memories for us. We attended each other's reunions. We went to our 25th, 40th, and five years ago, we attended Peter's 50th class reunion. A year ago, we booked reservations to go to Philadelphia for my 50th Penn reunion. Peter's death changed those plans.

The Songs I Can No Longer Hear After The Death Of My Spouse

Laurie Burrows Grad | Posted 06.02.2016 | Fifty
Laurie Burrows Grad

Maybe listening to the music of my choosing will take me to a new place of healing? Those who have had a significant loss keep a grief playlist in their head. Each is personal and can be ignited by a memory of a song they heard with their loved one.

Learning To Enjoy Solitude 9 Months After The Loss Of My Spouse

Laurie Burrows Grad | Posted 05.20.2016 | Fifty
Laurie Burrows Grad

I now miss my husband every time I pass a picture. I miss him every time I see a movie we treasured. I used to look at single people with a smugness that I now regret. I would twirl my ring on my finger and stare at the symbol of my couplehood with pride.

The Stress That Comes With Losing A Spouse

Laurie Burrows Grad | Posted 04.25.2016 | Fifty
Laurie Burrows Grad

Life-changing events like deciding to marry, becoming a parent, and finding a career are all by choice. Becoming a widow is not by choice. It is thrust upon you. The word widow brings to mind an old crone, dressed in a long black shapeless dress, shrouded in a black veil, wearing sensible shoes.

Coping With The Misty-Colored Memories Of The Way We Were

Laurie Burrows Grad | Posted 04.08.2016 | Fifty
Laurie Burrows Grad

Right after Peter died I suddenly realized that I had to change my ICE (In case of emergency) contact. I entered in all the information for my son. I love my son dearly but the wave of emotion that overcame me when I had to delete Peter's contact information was devastating.

Humility & Loss

Nathan Timmel | Posted 02.12.2016 | Comedy
Nathan Timmel

"Just give them a good show, sweetie. You never know who'll be in the audience." Those words are sounding inside me as I stare uncomfortably at the d...

Still Trying To Sleep Months After My Husband Died

Laurie Burrows Grad | Posted 02.03.2016 | Fifty
Laurie Burrows Grad

Tiredness won't come. No matter how much I run around during the day, I don't get drowsy. I exercise daily just so I can have the luxury of fatigue. I go out at night with friends to delay getting into bed. I eye the clock as I watch TV. After 11 p.m. I reasonably turn off the light and it all hits.

Why This Widow Has Deemed This The 'Year Of No'

Laurie Burrows Grad | Posted 01.14.2016 | Fifty
Laurie Burrows Grad

Shonda Rimes has a wonderful new book called 'A Year of Yes', where she talks about being fearless enough to answer yes to new adventures. The loss of my sweet husband Peter has forced me to create my own opposite book -- 'A Year of No.'

It's Been 3 Years Since My Spouse's Death And I'm Still In Pain

Debbie Weiss | Posted 12.08.2015 | Fifty
Debbie Weiss

In the two and a half years since my husband died, I thought I'd feel better about my life without him. But I don't. Especially during the holiday season when I feel my loss even more piercingly than usual. And having to say that everything's going great just makes it worse.

Why So Many People Go Sideways When Death Visits A Family

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 04.28.2015 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

There is another arena where 'armchair quarterbacks' also exist -- except this time, those who sit in the metaphorical armchairs have the ability and occasionally, the actual desire to wreak havoc, cause pain and outright destroy relationships.

Why Some People View Widows As 'Threats'

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 07.19.2014 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

Immediately after Mike's passing, the demeanor of this once warm and welcoming woman flipped 180 degrees.

What Is Absolutely Okay To Do After Becoming Widowed

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 07.12.2014 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

The following is a partial list of what it is absolutely, positively OK for you to do after becoming widowed.

Why Even Some Experts Get It Wrong When It Comes To Grief

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 07.05.2014 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

It should come as no surprise that I receive my fair share of invitations to grief workshops, grief conferences, grief seminars and so forth. One such recent invitation included a description of a grief workshop that kind of -- well, horrified me.

The Dauntingly Large Envelope I Received A Month After My Husband's Death

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 03.15.2014 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

It was January, 2001; one month after my husband's death. I awakened one morning to an envelope sent by a dauntingly large law firm; something that no one needs to receive immediately after you have buried your beloved.

Who Is Really To 'Blame' For Your Spouse's Death?

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 03.08.2014 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

It is a sad reality that after losing a spouse, many widowed are the victims of accusation, criticism and actual blame. Whether it comes from the outside (relatives, friends, acquaintances, etc.) or is instead self-imposed, there is a lot of unnecessary pain being inflicted on the widowed; the very people who are in desperate need of support, rather than spite.

The Word You Need To Hear When Dealing With A Loss

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 11.23.2013 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

Why is 'initiative' such a huge word? Because initiative means taking action. Initiative takes intent. Initiative takes formulation. Initiative takes follow-up and follow-through. Initiative comes from within yourself.

How To Stop Living A Life Based On Other People's Opinions

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 11.09.2013 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

Welcome to Week Five of Bereavement Boot Camp. You have probably noticed that as time goes on, the subject matter and the challenges get a little tougher -- but then again, so have you.

The One Word That Makes Me Incredibly Angry

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 08.03.2013 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

Few words make me angrier than a word that is constantly used toward and within the bereaved community. Closure.

The Appalling Thought That Just Occurred To Me

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 04.20.2013 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

A really appalling thought recently occurred to me. I would even go so far as to call it an epiphany.

Houston Is Probably A Nice Place

Carol Jones | Posted 11.17.2011 | Healthy Living
Carol Jones

If I had been more present with Kenny I would have listened to him talk about how he felt about not making it. I would have opened my mind and heart to hear him and hold him while he talked.