The anxiety of the looming holidays can be downright debilitating. Surviving it can often feel virtually impossible. Just remember, all you have to do is survive, and you get to decide how you'll best do that. Here is what has helped me survive the holidays these past six years as a bereaved parent. Keyword: survive.
I don't think grief ever goes away completely and honestly, I don't want it to. No matter how brief grief graces me with her presence, she always leaves my heart a little softer and puts thing in perspective on what's really important. Maybe it's my brother's way of sending us a Christmas gift to remind us that Christmas isn't a season. It's a feeling.
All of your senses are challenged when you're grieving. The world gets paler. Mom's death would have been hard whenever it happened, but the stress and loss seemed amplified by the festivities around me. In a month drenched with music, lights, and reminders to be cheery, it can feel so much harder to just sit with sad feelings and grieve.
I will live each day to the fullest knowing that tomorrow is promised to no one. I will take no one for granted. I will honor my son by continuing family traditions and remember the love we shared will transcend through the holidays and comfort me the rest of my life. I love you mom, I love you Matt. These last words said are etched forever in my heart.