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#Loss

The Boston Marathon Bombing as a Collective Trauma

Robert D. Stolorow | Posted 06.19.2013 | Crime
Robert D. Stolorow

A tragedy like this brings us face-to-face with our existential vulnerabilities -- vulnerabilities to harm, death, and loss -- and the existential vulnerability of all those we love and, perhaps worst of all, the limitedness or our ability to protect them.

The Greatest Fear Shared By The Widowed

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 06.15.2013 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

Most people in the world are afraid of dying, which is not exactly what you would call an irrational fear. However, many people are so afraid of dying that they do not even want to discuss death, which, uncomfortable as this discussion may be, is downright irresponsible.

The Zen of Miscarriage

Cheryl Dumesnil | Posted 06.12.2013 | Parents
Cheryl Dumesnil

How do you say goodbye to someone with whom you shared not a past full of memories, but a future made of fantasies? How do you make space for sadness when you're surrounded by messages, both internal and external, telling you to buck up and move on?

How I Lost My Father's Voice And Found My Own

Melissa T. Shultz | Posted 06.15.2013 | Fifty
Melissa T. Shultz

The thing about transitions is, sometimes it's helpful to revisit the past in order to see how much you've grown. Recently, I thought about my father's passing -- and a beautiful pen that was dear to him. It reminded me that some endings are actually beginnings in disguise.

5 Ways To Get Your Financial House In Order

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 06.08.2013 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

Although certainly not among the most enthralling subjects, dealing with financial fall-out after the loss of a spouse is undoubtedly among the most important. While almost everything else on a widowed's to-do list can wait, the importance of setting financial and legal transition into immediate motion cannot be overstated.

A Meditation On Impermanence

MeiMei Fox | Posted 06.06.2013 | Healthy Living
MeiMei Fox

There is a message here about impermanence. While I've heard it many times before, somehow every time an unexpected event happens or I receive unwelcome news, I have to learn the lesson all over again. We are not in control of so many things.

Even Still

Amanda Magee | Posted 06.03.2013 | Women
Amanda Magee

I used to believe that there was a formula -- ...step on a crack, break your mother's back. I thought that if even against my better judgement or despite my best efforts, if I indeed stepped on a crack, that I could avoid the next seven cracks and take it back.

8 Signs You're Addicted To Love

Pamela Dussault | Posted 06.03.2013 | Divorce
Pamela Dussault

Whether you're addicted to a substance or a person, the effects of addiction are similar in that they are harmful and have far reaching, negative consequences.

Blessed Are They Who Mourn

Karen M. Wyatt, M.D. | Posted 06.02.2013 | Healthy Living
Karen M. Wyatt, M.D.

It is clear that I must now make a new home for myself within my own heart. There I must create a door that is always open, a light that burns eternally, a spark that cherishes my name, and a blessing of continual self-forgiveness.

The Woman Who Saved My Life

Molly Lindquist | Posted 05.27.2013 | Women
Molly Lindquist

It wasn't until my own diagnosis of breast cancer in 2011, at the age of 32, that I started to ask more questions about the experience my grandmother likely had as a patient 56 years before me.

The Sweet Way My Son Helped His Brother Deal With Grief

Whit Honea | Posted 05.26.2013 | Parents
Whit Honea

We found his brother mid-smile, with a ray of sunshine across his face and his hair a golden tussle. I held the moment as long as I could, willing the story to end on this page.

How My Life Finally Came Full Circle

Linda Joy Myers, Ph. D. | Posted 05.25.2013 | Fifty
Linda Joy Myers, Ph. D.

I come from a legacy of mothers who left their mark upon me, etching profound disturbances, carving hollows of loss. I was determined to be different, but there's something about wounding deep below the surface that's not easy to escape. I knew when I was nine that my mother and grandmother were not what I wanted to be, but the webs they wove caught me anyway.

Loving Again After Loss

Georgianna Donadio, MSc, Ph.D., D.C. | Posted 05.22.2013 | Divorce
Georgianna Donadio, MSc, Ph.D., D.C.

Losing love by breakup or death is one of the most profound and stressful things we as human beings can experience.

Rehearsing for Life and Death

May Benatar, Ph.D., L.C.S.W. | Posted 05.22.2013 | Healthy Living
May Benatar, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.

I think after a year and a half of working at a cancer support and wellness center in the D.C. metro area, I am just coming to understand what drew me to this work. I volunteer once a week to lead a mindfulness meditation group.

Condolence

Sarah Richards Kim, M.D. | Posted 05.20.2013 | Healthy Living
Sarah Richards Kim, M.D.

Some have suggested that sending a condolence card is in fact part of a physician's professional obligation to a patient. Families may be comforted by the affirmation that their loved one was not merely a name on a roster, but a person, whose death is noteworthy.

The One Thing You Should Never Say To The Widowed

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 05.18.2013 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

Although it may be tempting to do otherwise, do not choose to dwell on the unfairness of your widowhood. The unfairness is a given, however dwelling on the unfairness will not take you in the healing direction that you wish to travel.

Smallest Gesture Means Something to Mourners

Linda K. Wertheimer | Posted 05.15.2013 | Healthy Living
Linda K. Wertheimer

Today reminded me that there is a little bit of my brother in every place he lived, every place he walked, every place he laughed, every place he flashed that huge smile that teachers and friends alike thought was contagious.

You Can't Go Home Again... Or Can You?

Serena Piper | Posted 05.12.2013 | College
Serena Piper

Last summer after my grandma passed away, I had a conversation with my mom about whether or not it's a good idea to return to your childhood home after you've moved out and on with your life. "I know I never could because I knew it wouldn't be the same," she said.

Living With Loss

Dr. Debbie Magids | Posted 05.11.2013 | Healthy Living
Dr. Debbie Magids

If you can pay attention, and let yourself hurt, it will open you up to living life more meaningfully. By knowing we don't have forever here or with someone, we can learn to appreciate the people in our lives more, to love more, and to be more open with what people mean to us.

Why It's Impossible To Fill Someone Else's Shoes

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 05.11.2013 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

I can think of a lot of things that need filling up at one time or another. Some of those things might include: A bank account, a gas tank, a martini glass. Now... do you know what definitely does not need 'filling'? Somebody else's shoes.

The Color Orange and My First Cousin Jesse: Rediscovering Family

Elizabeth Boleman-Herring | Posted 05.07.2013 | Women
Elizabeth Boleman-Herring

The Last of the Mohicans was made in 1992, just after my mother (the next to the last of my Mohicans) succumbed to cancer. Very much in Chingachgook's moccasins, I am the last, now, of the Boleman-Herrings.

5 Things Not To Say To A Woman After A Miscarriage

Lindsay San Giacomo | Posted 05.04.2013 | Parents
Lindsay San Giacomo

I recently had a miscarriage. While I got some fantastic advice from some great people, I was shocked at the bizarre and sometimes hurtful things people said to me. But I can't really blame them. When you don't talk about something, you don't know how to talk about it, either.

It's OK: 36 Things Widowers Can Do Without Guilt

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 05.04.2013 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

Sometimes all we need is for just one person who has walked the same path to quietly and gently say, "It really is OK..."

How I Overcame Grief After The Loss Of My Spouse

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 04.27.2013 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

Twelve years. An entire lifetime ago. Whether by plane, car, ship, train or other means, most of us have taken a long trip of one kind or another. While in the midst of traveling, our habit tends to be to constantly check the time or the mileage to determine how far we have to go until we get 'there,' wherever 'there' happens to be.

The Upside Of Divorce

Robin Amos Kahn | Posted 04.23.2013 | Divorce
Robin Amos Kahn

There is life after divorce, I promise you. And there is, believe it or not, joy.