We commit to someone because we want to feel safe emotionally and to hoard our lover sexually. We think sex will grow in frequency and quality. Yet within two years, one in every three committed couples is barely having sex. Why is our addiction to desire so sadly curable?
In an attempt to juggle all of your various events and obligations, it can feel impossible to find a moment to catch your breath, let alone find time to be intimate with your partner. Here are some ways to help strengthen your relationship all season long.
Here are three meditations with the themes of talking dirty, quickies, and fairy tales for you to ponder and practice this week.
You know you shouldn't do it. You know that if you keep calling and leaving messages he's going to think you are needy, or pathetic, or just plain crazy. You know that if you keep asking her if she's seen her ex-boyfriend, she's going to think you are insecure, or jealous, or even controlling.
There's nothing wrong with occasional fights between partners. However, relationship issues multiply when fighting becomes the the expected mode of communication. This familiar battling debilitates rather than promotes a couple's bond.
A lot of things can make a woman feel sexy: lace tights, a sideways glance at just the right moment, Ryan Gosling. But you know what doesn't make a woman feel like an erotic minx of sensuality?
Healthy boundaries are physical, emotional, and psychological constructs we create and maintain based on what we need in order to feel safe in the world. These flexible boundaries help us set limits so we can be in functional relationships that enrich, support, and inspire us.
Holiday parties are harmless, right? Wrong! Sure, there's festive music, tinsel and lots of wool sweaters with snowflakes in cutesy patterns. But for people like me who would prefer to gift wrap their cat in tissue paper than talk to semi-strangers about my stalled personal and professional life, it can be rough.
If you have betrayed another or have been betrayed, take stock of what you did or how you reacted then take the necessary time to forgive yourself or another. It can take years to restore trust or to forgive someone who's betrayed you.
It's not so much about sex acts as the ability to safely share one's emotional, relational and/or sexual truth with one's world and to receive another's truth without judgment.
Why oh why is there still so much debate and misinformation out there?
Relationships that are the most successful are those where both partners share their inner world with one another -- their real thoughts, feelings and desires -- and where their partner, in turn, is able to really hear them.
Resentment comes when you feel angry that you've been treated unfairly. But what is "fair" when deciding who should do what work?
What if we inadvertently train our spouses out of helping through our tiny reminders? Imagine you -- a grown woman who has been grocery shopping for 30 years -- are leaving for the grocery store and he is telling you, "Make sure you take the coupons. Do you have the list?"
If you are looking for a committed relationship, you have a much better chance of creating a loving relationship if you are very clear on what you want and what is not tolerable to you
Surrendering to lust is unconsciously based in this idea of reclaiming a sense of personal power, which sadly rarely matches up with our own internal values.