We were in love with each other. I had found 'The One' for the first time. And the memories Tom and I shared as a couple, together, over the years, are frozen in time and keep my love warm to this day. It has been a magical ride.
My cousin remarried -- just shy (by a month) of age 50 -- about three years ago. We live in different states and don't see each other, but thanks to Facebook, I feel connected and up-to-date on her life. After she met her new love, it was broadcast on Facebook like a classic, modern love story.
Sometimes love takes time ... and we should know. Bill and I met in kindergarten in 1962 and went to school together through high school. We always liked each other, but it wasn't until the ripe age of 53 that our orbits finally aligned and we were together, as it should have been all along!
I was an adventurous 22-year-old girl back in 1981, working a few jobs in Boston and going to school on and off, when one day I decided to join my older sister on a European backpacking adventure. And so off we went, set to travel for two months.
I pondered. What about the difference in our ages? It isn't unusual for a man to date a woman 20 years younger. But the other way around? Really? The more I thought about it, the more I thought, 'Why cant we have a relationship if we love each other?'
I can't imagine recommending anything other than online dating to my clients. Sure, there are other possibilities and venues where single boomers can meet, but none equals online dating in terms of potential. I know it can feel like swimming through molasses at times but it works.
Twenty-eight thousand people answered a questionnaire about heterosexual mate preferences. As with any research, researchers found that one long-held belief was supported: People with desirable traits have a stronger 'bargaining hand' and can be more selective when choosing a partner.
That's really scary, I said to Heather, my 46-year-old trainer. I don't want to do this. Heather insisted, it was not about a new set of exercises that she was promoting, it was for me to get online on a dating site.
Have you gotten tired yet hearing how broken down and dysfunctional we have all become in our advancing years? If we are smart, we except our shortcomings, find a way to overcome them and move on with living our lives to the fullest.
I took a hard look at what I learned in exploring love at midlife -- how long-term couples keep love fresh or how new midlife couples coming together manage their backstory and baggage. It was illuminating, and more inspiring than any fairy tale.
"He said that you went to school together," my mother says over the phone, long distance. "And his name is Dave," she announces victoriously, as if that is all the identification he will ever need, like "Cher."
Whether we like it or not, being 50 or 60 means that we aren't in Kansas any more -- body wise. There is no way that the belt we wore in our thirties will fit, even if the hip-huggers we also wore at the time still do.
For 4 days, we don't leave the bedroom except to eat. It did not occur to me at the time that this was excessive. I thought, as did Billy: it's the only way to fly. Not until a year later did I see what it was--a binge, a four day bender.