As a nanny and parenting consultant, I have long espoused that we are doing our children a disservice by catering to their every need and catching their every fall. But it's a hard message for parents to internalize, even harder for them to come out and say, and harder still to publish a blog about it!
When your colleague does a great job on an important project, compliment them on their success. If your competitor got the job over you, send a note of congratulations. Drop your guard, put down your competitive armor, and give yourself permission to revel in someone else's success. Make your words strong and reliable.
Do you remember the first time you heard the "S" (sir) word or the "M" (ma'am) word when someone was addressing you? In the timeline of maturity this event stands stark in many people's memories. The first time I got "ma'am-ed," I actually turned around to see who the person was talking to. It certainly could not have been me!