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Margaret Paul

Relationship Advice: Should I Tell Him How I Really Feel?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 12.24.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Psychotherapists often advise their clients to share their feelings with the important people in their life. Is this good advice?

Why Relationships Are Often Difficult

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 12.16.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

If you want a relationship that maintains deep emotional and physical connection, a relationship where you rarely feel lonely with each other, a relationship that is always evolving and growing toward deeper intimacy, then you likely have to be willing to work at it by healing your own issues.

Are You In A Relationship For The Right Reasons?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 12.09.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

When two people come together because they want to learn together, grow together, heal together, share their time and companionship, and share their love and passion, they have a good chance of creating a lasting, loving relationship.

Relationship Advice: Connect More, Be Lonely Less

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 12.04.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Loneliness goes away when we connect with each other from our hearts. Disconnection occurs anytime one partner closes his or her heart to protect or control.

18 Relationship Red Flags

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 11.19.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Over the many years of working with thousands of people looking to find a committed relationship, I've discovered numerous red flags that may indicate future problems.

Relationship Advice: Are You With The One?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 11.16.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

I often receive emails from people asking me how they can know if the person they are in relationship with is the right partner for them. They frequently say that they have made mistakes in the past, and they don't want to make a mistake again.

Running From Love

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 11.08.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

What's likely going on is that you have a fear of losing yourself in the relationship. And the more you like the person, the bigger your fear of engulfment and commitment gets. Why? There are a number of reasons you might fear losing yourself in a relationship.

Searching for Love

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 11.05.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

My life changed when I finally understood how to access the unconditional love that is always available to all of us. What I came to understand is that love, like the air we breathe, enters our heart by invitation only.

'Don't I Have A Right to Be Angry?'

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 10.26.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

We always have the right to feel whatever we feel. We also have the right to express anger when we feel hurt or betrayed. However, the real question is not whether you have the right, but whether or not your anger is working for you.

'How Can I Make Others Hear and Understand Me?'

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 10.20.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Accepting our lack of control over how others see and treat us is a major challenge for many people. It's important to realize that others often treat us the way we treat ourselves.

How To Effectively Communicate In Your Relationship

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 09.30.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

"Isn't withdrawing from conflict just running away?" you might ask. Yes, it is. But there is a huge difference between withdrawing and disengaging. The difference is about your intention.

If You Want to Lose Weight But You Aren't -- Why?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 09.23.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

You can read every diet book and try every weight-loss drug and every new diet, but if you don't learn to manage your painful feelings in ways that don't cause even more pain, you will not lose weight or keep weight off.

How to Tell if It's Real Love

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 09.17.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

We all have a wounded self -- our ego -- that we developed as we were growing up, to protect us from pain. Our wounded self becomes activated when we get scared -- scared of rejection, of engulfment, of being hurt.

Resolving Relationship Problems by Letting Go of Problem-Solving

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 09.08.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

"We never seem to be able to solve any problems," Kaylee told me in a phone session. "Every time we sit down to solve a problem, we end up fighting."

Are You 'Nice' or Are You Loving?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 09.01.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Being nice often means being inauthentic. It can be a form of control -- attempting to control how the other person feels about you or how they respond to you.

Is This Love or Emotional Dependency?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 08.27.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

If you are so attached to someone that you feel you can't live without that person, try learning to give to yourself and others what it is you want from this person. Your job is to become the person to yourself that you want the other person to be.

Are You Hiding A Secret? How To Stop Holding Yourself Back

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 08.21.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

In my work with my clients, I've often wondered why some people jump right in to learning and growing and take off with it, while others seem to keep getting stuck. I've discovered that harboring a shameful secret is one of the reasons.

Lying as a Form of Control

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 08.12.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

It is not as hard as you may believe to learn how to connect with your personal source of spiritual guidance.

Love Asks for Nothing

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 08.05.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

You have to start with yourself, since it is only when you are filled with love that you have love to offer another. When you deeply desire to learn to be loving to yourself, your heart will open and you will start to receive love and wisdom from your higher self.

What Does Having Sex Mean to You?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 07.22.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Sex means different things to different people, and what it means to you might be having a big effect on your relationship.

Relationships: Why You Attract Who You Attract

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 07.15.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

While no one deliberately seeks out someone who is closed, negative and needy, if this is you, this is what you will attract into your life. If you want a loving relationship, then you need to do the work of learning how to take emotional responsibility

The Power of Being 'Grokked'

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 07.09.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

It is unrealistic to expect compassion from others when we are abandoning ourselves. If you want to experience the power of being "grokked" by others, you first need to "grok" yourself!

How To Overcome Emotional Dependency And Create The Space You Need

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 07.02.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

In many relationships, one person complains about not having enough time with his or her partner, while the other complains about needing space. Find out how to resolve this conflict.

Why Blaming Feels Good

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 06.16.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Rather than judge ourselves for blaming -- which most of us do at times -- why not look at what the blaming is covering up and learn to lovingly manage the feelings that we are covering up and avoiding with blaming?

Fear of Death

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 06.05.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

If you could be sure that when you die, your consciousness goes right on living -- that your soul essence cannot die -- would you still be afraid of death?