When you decide to divorce, you're placing a bet that your future life will be better than the one you're living now. Even if the odds feel long, it's a chance you're willing to take. Yes, there will be loss. But what you gain may be worth the sacrifice of the lingering, functional parts of an irreparable marriage.
This week, my husband and I will celebrate our 36th anniversary. Some years we've gotten dressed-up and gone out to dinner. Other years we've simply marked the day with a kiss. That's what marriage is: richer, poorer, good times and bad. Each year with its surprises and challenges, its hard fought lessons, its moments of sweetness.
My path away from marital meltdown began in the smoking pile of rubble that was my final workplace implosion. It was 1 a.m. and after months of 18-hour days launching a new show, I exploded: screaming, throwing things and threatening people. In front of a large audience on the production floor of 30 Rock, I bottomed out with a loud, messy splat.
Over and over, when it comes to marriage the elders point to decisions that completely ignore the evidence and show bad judgment. They believe there are a set of signs so strong and compelling that they tell you to get out of the relationship. However many people ignore the clear warnings and get married -- and, the elders tell us, live through a horrendous period suffering the consequences of that dumb decision.