Hours of fighting came down to one simple point. He wasn't asking me to change my name so he didn't think it was fair for me to ask him to change his. It was a fair point. If he wasn't asking me to change my name, what was the issue anyway?
I am proud to have taken my wife's name for both romantic and political reasons. Personally, this whole gay marriage thing has been a lovely surprise in every way; marriage is about unity. If you aren't willing to merge your names, are you really ready to merge entire lives?
Getting married didn't only result in a name change, it resulted in a change of my entire identity. I was now a wife. I was part of a couple. I became a 'Mrs.' -- a spouse. And then when I got divorced, I became a statistic.