Marriage is a different kind of work -- a kind of work that happens ALONGSIDE the regular life work of your job, caring for your family, making ends meet, and so on.
I thought; this is marriage. One day you're shopping for shoes at the outlets and just a few weeks later, the new shoes your husband reluctantly bought for himself will sit, discarded, in a room down the hall while someone else breathes for him.
Those who take their time are aware that life is not only about the wedding, the honeymoon and the first couple of years, and they are realistic enough to understand that love doesn't come after you get married -- well at least not the kind of love they want.
I heard you had a smidge of trouble interpreting the 35-page PowerPoint presentation of my wedding table vision that I overnighted to you. Personally, I'm confused by your confusion, but I'm guessing it had something to do with my Louis XIV-meets-great-plains-of-Nebraska table theme?
What happens when a man has met a woman who really makes him happy but his teenage kids hate her for no reason? If a man is not strong in his own self he stands to lose it all in this situation... the respect of his kids and the loss of a love.
It's human nature. We might want things to change, but until there is a compelling reason to make a change, it's easier to let things go on the way they are.
I had an abstract idea of him as a dad: carrying a mini version of himself on his shoulders, rocking our children to sleep. But we hadn't yet seen that side of each other (or ourselves), hadn't had those layers unpeeled and exposed.
If we don't want throwaway answers, we can't ask throwaway questions. A caring question is a key that will unlock a room inside the person you love.
How about loving your mate "just because?" May sound simplistic but what if we spent time focusing on our lover for who she is? Who he is? And then love them just because of who they are?
Full disclosure is about being transparent and honest with each other out of the intention of promoting deeper trust, respect, and integrity in the relationship.
Marriage is for adults, and it is immature for me to decide when other people are ready to take the next step in their lives. No one should be limited to any role they fulfill, whether it's friend, daughter, wife, or mother.
"Yoga" translates as "union." The tradition teaches that the union we're seeking begins with ourselves and ultimately extends to all beings and to the universe itself. Marriage is also a union, a union of two persons committed to sharing their lives in a loving relationship.
For my first blog in 2014 I found it important to think about the deeper cause of all divorce procedures I have so far experienced. Where did it all go wrong in the first place?
Ralph Waldo Emerson brilliantly said, "Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting some on yourself." We live in an individualistic society, one that tells us "me first" is what is most important. In marriage, that can't be further from the truth.
Complicating the simple is a human talent. You might think that the human endeavor should be fraught with efforts to simplify the complicated, and indeed, it is. Unfortunately, it seems that most of the efforts to simplify the complicated, actually serve to complicate the simple.
No matter what the timeline, the story of lost love is one most of us can tell. This leaves the question "why do relationships fail?" to linger heavily in the back of our minds. The answer for many of us can be found within. Whether we know it or not, most of us are afraid of really being in love.