Nobody wants to be married to someone who can do everything well. The idea is to be in a relationship where each person fills a unique role, and brings something to the table that the other partner lacks.
As modern aging has come to be defined by living longer with chronic care needs, and providing long-term care has shifted to the public sector, with two thirds of long term care services paid for by Medicaid, loving spouses may be forced to divorce. The future of elder care may depend on it.
A sound rises in me, a roar that sounds like no, no, no. Flashes of soulless, transactional sex assault me but I refuse to look at them. I stare straight ahead, not blinking, not breathing.
After five months of marriage, eight months of being engaged, and another year of whatever the hell we were doing before we got engaged, I realized I don't trust my wife. I trust her opinions about important things. I trusted that she'd make a great wife. But you know what I don't really trust? Her feelings.
What does "affair-ready" mean? It means that you are past the pre-contemplation stage* of marital discontent and you have started seeing the solution to the problems in your relationship as lying outside of your relationship.
Just a few short months ago, my parents celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary. Like most couples, they have also faced their fair share of challenges during the duration of their marriage, and they relied on each other to get through them. I feel fortunate to have such great role models for my own marriage.
Break rooms aren't just for television or real-world offices, though. Ted and I have one in our marriage. Although it's not the kind with a coffee maker or refrigerator. We discovered it in our first year of marriage.
One of the best parts of my job as a couples therapist is that I get to deliver good news. Couples come in fearing that their marriage is too far gone to fix, and I get to tell them it's not.
The double edged sword of loving a narcissist is that the very qualities that attracted you to them are what they resent the most, because they know deep down they cannot ever mirror your greatness.
I allowed myself to believe, that when you get married, you are supposed to experience these sorts of pre-event traumas. You are supposed to be disconcerted; you are supposed to feel weird. That is love. No one told me it wasn't.
My ring represents the ability to honor the past while inviting memories yet to be lived and decades of sparkly possibilities before me.
He had me in his arms before I'd finished asking. I had to decide to unlock myself, which isn't something that I can always do, but I saw my moment and I reached for it.
Turns out, there are parallels between love and laundry that can teach us um, a load, about relationships.
Remember: You can't make room for a wonderfully available someone if the seat next to you is taken by an unavailable partner who's wasting your precious time.
There's no denying that we all love love, but love doesn't unfold in three perfect acts like in the movies. Yes, it's magical and wonderful to find someone who "gets" you, to have someone to share your joys and disappointments with, but it's also complicated, messy, frustrating and above all challenging.
This is the first in an occasional series on the critical issue of effective communication between the members of a couple, an issue that is too, complex, has too, many dimensions, and is too, important to be dealt with in one post.