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Marvin E Quasniki

The GOP Debate: 20th Time's a Charm

Marvin E. Quasniki | Posted 04.24.2012 | Comedy
Marvin E. Quasniki

The Republican candidates just finished their 20th and (allegedly) final debate. For those keeping score, that's more debates than Santorum kids plus Romney sons plus Gingrich wives plus Paul eyebrows.

The GOP is Having an Open Relationship With Its Candidates

Marvin E. Quasniki | Posted 03.22.2012 | Comedy
Marvin E. Quasniki

Seems Republicans can't settle down with one candidate. First that Rick Santorum guy won the Iowa caucus. Then Mitt Romney won in New Hampshire. And now somehow Newt Gingrich manages to pull off a win.

I Will Not Suspend My Campaign For President, So Stop Asking

Marvin E. Quasniki | Posted 03.18.2012 | Comedy
Marvin E. Quasniki

Entering the race late gives me an advantage over my esteemed co-candidates and worthless enemies. My delayed candidacy means there's less time to be investigated by the lame-stream media. If Herman Cain had waited to jump into the race, who knows how far he could have gone.

A Republican Candidate With a Difference

Marvin E. Quasniki | Posted 03.12.2012 | Comedy
Marvin E. Quasniki

I'm Marvin E. Quasniki and I will be the next president of the United States. That's right, I said "I will be" and not "I would like to be," because frankly, I wouldn't like it. It's a terrible job. But our country's in the crapper and nobody else seems to be doing anything about it.