In this day and age, women have won the right to vote, to burn our bras, and to climb the corporate ladder. Why do we still find it a challenge to be honest in the bedroom? And could this duplicity potentially lead us astray when looking for Mr. Right?
My computer is talking to me, whispering words of encouragement as I trace big circles with my finger on my trackpad. My cursor grazes over the vulva of the woman lying before me onscreen.
It seems like sexuality is the one field with more of an ideological divide than politics. This year there is greater tolerance than ever to the many sexuality identifications and definitions. At the same time, there are many movements that promote failing programs and invisible walls of discrimination.
Guilt can keep us "in line," and take over our lives and convince us that we are "bad people" and stop us from living our lives fully. Guilt is a tricky number. But guilt can be an aphrodisiac too. Some of the best sex is so good exactly because we are so bad!
I think that most women today own a sex toy and a vibrator of some kind. Most women know that it's really okay to touch ourselves 'down there' and that touching ourselves will not cause us to go blind or meet the devil. So why aren't we doing it more? Like every single day?
How is masturbation always "contrary" to the dignity of the body? I am troubled at the way in which this particular use of "sin" tends to be linked to our bodies -- especially our bodies as sexual bodies.
Do you have trouble sleeping? Masturbation can help. It relieves tension and stress by flooding the system with endorphins, which are the body's natural feel good chemicals.
Sex, bias, and mind-bending properties of natural products are at the core of witchcraft. The Tarot cards and highly intuitive witches who read them in New Orleans were fun, but all of this natural and supernatural human behavior--witch's brews, witchcraft, and witch hunts--is neuroscience.
I had to sit with this toy clamped to my cock, buzzing and whirring with reckless abandon, while I was in the "dead turtle position," physically unable to move or change positions whatsoever, surrounded by a sea of blue pads. Go ahead, the visual is pretty hilarious.
People often lie about their online habits and ocular interests because of shame. There are still people who believe masturbation is icky, immoral and wrong, and they don't want anyone to know they enjoy it just as much as everyone else.
To understand the pleasure our bodies give to men, rather than just being a tool for that pleasure, a woman needs to experience the sublime herself, with herself. We were born with the capacity for it.
What's desperate about loving yourself and honoring your own needs? If you're hungry, you eat. If you're thirsty, you drink. If you're horny, you do something sexual. It's not rocket science. Where's the issue here? No government or church will ever control my orgasms, I know that.
Aside from the obvious upsides of masturbation that we know and love, here are some of my favorite positive side effects of a routine, healthy dose of self-love.
TV shows like Girls and Broad City have made vibrators mainstream, but the sex toys still aren't exactly easy to choose, especially if you're a first-time vibe-buyer.
From an evolutionary point of view, however, sexual attraction to pain would seem to be maladaptive. Pain is, by definition, aversive. It evolved as a signal to get our attention and keep us out of trouble.
Look. No one wants to hear what they can or cannot do with their body. We came by free will in the hardest way and we feel like we've earned it. "This is my life!" But, the whole free will thing isn't without its catches.