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Matrimania

How to Respond to People Who Ask Why You Are Not Married

Bella DePaulo | Posted 08.18.2012 | Women
Bella DePaulo

When married people get that twisted, pitying look in their eye and ask you why you aren't married -- or, worse still, offer lists of reasons why you are not -- it is time to say, "right back at you!"

Et Tu, Touré? A Critic of White Privilege Is Oblivious to Marital Privilege

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.07.2012 | Home
Bella DePaulo

So those are my two choices? Either I'm providing for my family or I'm out to boost my ego, my status, and my self-image? Touré, there are around 100 million adults who are not married, and that's just counting the ones in the U.S.

Reports of Singles' Early Demise are Greatly Exaggerated (or Just Plain Wrong)

Bella DePaulo | Posted 10.19.2011 | Healthy Living
Bella DePaulo

A just-published article claims that people who stay single are headed straight to the grave -- and fast. Faster than people who are currently married.

Taking on Singlism: 28 Writers Help Me Display and Slay the Beast

Bella DePaulo | Posted 07.19.2011 | Books
Bella DePaulo

"DePaulo says that 'singlism' -- a term she coined and for which we are prepared to forgive her -- is not just aimed at unmarried women." -Gail Collin...

Latest Survey of Singles: This Is How Stereotypes Are Perpetuated

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011 | Divorce
Bella DePaulo

Have you heard about the latest survey of single people? It is based on a nationally-representative sample of more than 5,000 Americans, ages 21 to 65...

Does Piers Morgan Ask Why Condi Rice Is Single? Let Me Count the Ways

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011 | Media
Bella DePaulo

Now Piers Morgan has taken over in the King slot at CNN. With Professor Condoleezza Rice as one of his first guests, would he, too, turn out to be a matrimaniac?

Is Marriage that Luxury Cruise Ship Stranded in the Ocean?

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011 | Healthy Living
Bella DePaulo

Time magazine calls marriage a 'luxury yacht.' Remember what happened on the last cruise ship? The cover of Time magazine asks, in big bold letters,...

Facebook Movie: The Arrogance of Achievement vs. the Arrogance of Inheritance

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011 | Technology
Bella DePaulo

The word on the street is that the Facebook movie, The Social Network, ruins Mark Zuckerberg's reputation. I'm not so sure.

Challenges to the Privileging of Married People, from Across the Ideological Spectrum

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Bella DePaulo

[This post is co-authored by Bella DePaulo and Rachel Buddeberg.] Today marks the beginning of Singles Week (or, more formally, National Unmarried an...

Know Your 1,138 Marital Privileges, Courtesy of the Feds

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Bella DePaulo

The report also makes it clear that some of the 1,000+ laws identified "may not directly create benefits, rights, or privileges" for married people.

Is Marriage a Barbarian-Adoption Program?

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011 | Healthy Living
Bella DePaulo

Married men are less generous with their friends after marrying. How, does this qualify as acting "more civilized," as the Marriage Mafia claim?

Sandra Bullock, David Brooks, and Misleading Claims About Marrying

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011 | Healthy Living
Bella DePaulo

In his column today, David Brooks writes that, "According to [one study], being married produces a psychic gain equivalent to more than $100,000 a year." What exactly does this mean?

Are You Single at Heart?

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011 | Healthy Living
Bella DePaulo

To be single at heart, I think, means that you see yourself as single. Your life may or may not include the occasional romantic relationship, but you don't aspire to live as part of a couple for the long term.

'Relationship' Is a Very Big Word

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011 | Healthy Living
Bella DePaulo

There's something troubling about the use of the word "relationship" that excludes all relationships but romantic ones. All other adult relationships aren't just excluded in the wording; they're absent from the studies.

Should You Marry that Rude, Stinky, Creepy Person Since You're Not Perfect Either?

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011 | Healthy Living
Bella DePaulo

Once upon a time, a reporter for a major magazine declared, in all seriousness, that women should just get married already - even if it means settling...

"Our Bodies, Ourselves": 40 Years on, Still Circling the Globe

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011 | Impact
Bella DePaulo

There are some truths about women's health that may now seem self-evident, but perhaps would not be so obvious if it were not for the ideas espoused, starting so long ago, by "Our Bodies, Ourselves."

Two Scholars Ask: What if Marriage Is Bad for Us?

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011 | Healthy Living
Bella DePaulo

Marriage is not for everyone, and people who want to stay single should not be targeted with singlism because of it.

Shriver Report: Get Married, Have Kids, Then We'll Speak to Your Issues

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011 | Healthy Living
Bella DePaulo

I'll highlight some remarkable and conventional-wisdom-defying findings from the report that were published but never headlined.

Marriage and Health: Et Tu, New York Times?

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011 | Healthy Living
Bella DePaulo

I am disappointed with the recent Times article that claims that married people tend to be healthier than single people. Here's why the piece is misleading.

Marital Mentalities: The Changes are Historic, and We're Living Them

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011 | Healthy Living
Bella DePaulo

There's a lot of matrimania going on but I suspect that's not a sign of how secure we are about the place of marriage in our lives, but how insecure.

"Avoid Marriage," Advises Atlantic Writer

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011 | Healthy Living
Bella DePaulo

Who is happier and psychologically stronger - people who got married and then got unmarried, or people who stayed single? The answer, in just about every study I've ever reviewed, is people who have stayed single.

For the Love of Blogging

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011 | Media
Bella DePaulo

When I first started blogging, I never imagined it would become one of my favorite things to do.

USA Today Reporter Responds to Blog Post

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011 | Media
Bella DePaulo

...

Promoting Marriage-Promotion with Dubious Scientific Claims: USA Today's Feature Story

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011 | Media
Bella DePaulo

USA Today is very excited about marriage. Splashed across the front page of the Health and Behavior section, set off by a colorful illustration, was t...

True or False: Married People Healthiest, but Singles Catching Up

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011 | Healthy Living
Bella DePaulo

Even allowing for the approach that makes marriage look better than it really is, the differences in health between the currently-married and the always-single are tiny.