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Melissa Chapman

A Letter to My Teenage Daughter

Melissa Chapman | Posted 02.20.2015 | Parents
Melissa Chapman

Everything feels REALLY MONUMENTAL right now, but if you could just stop and repeat these words silently to yourself, " Will this matter in a year from now?" I promise you that your perspective will shift.

On Being OK With Putting My Supermom Cape Away

Melissa Chapman | Posted 01.29.2015 | Parents
Melissa Chapman

This year, I got thrown a curve ball. My daughter found herself in the midst of a social situation that Supermom could not swoop in and fix.

Anatomy of a 16-Year Wedding Anniversary Present (or What Not to Give Your Wife)

Melissa Chapman | Posted 12.29.2014 | Weddings
Melissa Chapman

So basically what you are saying is that -- after 16 years of marriage -- you think the best gift to give me are two pillows and a sheet?

4 Signs You Are a Slacker Mom (Like Me)

Melissa Chapman | Posted 12.16.2014 | Parents
Melissa Chapman

I also think that uber parenting style had me feeling like I needed to be much more relaxed as a parent lest I wanted my kids headed straight to therapy, so I guess I would categorize myself, at this point in my motherhood career as kind of a slacker. So what traits do us slacker moms possess? And how would you know if you too were one of our tribe? Keep reading!

In a Marriage You Can Allow Mistakes to Eat Away at the Foundation of Your Union or You Let Them Empower You

Melissa Chapman | Posted 10.28.2014 | Weddings
Melissa Chapman

I needed every experience and mistake I've made as an individual and in my marriage to help guide and get me to the next stage of my life. I won't live with regrets and I also know that in holding a grudge the only person who suffers is me.

A Good Marriage Requires Both Spouses to Embrace Sacrifice and Change

Melissa Chapman | Posted 10.04.2014 | Weddings
Melissa Chapman

That is all I have ever really wanted -- security that I could get my basic needs met. I've never felt compelled to shop every day for the most coveted purse or pair of shoes. Those were not my goals at 23 and they are not my goals at 40.

5 Things I Know for Sure About True Love

Melissa Chapman | Posted 09.14.2014 | Weddings
Melissa Chapman

Ultimately when it comes to marriage whether it is arranged or not -- true love in a marriage develops over time and is not about lust, attraction or how much time you have known this person -- rather it is when you cannot see your life without your partner for better or worse.

The 5 Arguments You Should Avoid AT all Costs in Your Marriage

Melissa Chapman | Posted 08.31.2014 | Weddings
Melissa Chapman

And as a woman who has been in the marriage trenches for 15 years, while I don't have a degree in counseling, my degree in the hard knock world of marriage has taught me some lessons about what it takes to STAY MARRIED.

5 Ways Your Last Kid Gets The Short End Of The Stick

Melissa Chapman | Posted 08.31.2014 | Parents
Melissa Chapman

4. He doesn't get a front row seat to the live stage show du jour... but he does get to watch anything he wants on TV, which he will be sitting in front of for 16 hours a day.

What I Learned About Love Watching My Mother Go On Her First Date In 51 Years

Melissa Chapman | Posted 08.26.2014 | Fifty
Melissa Chapman

I don't think any marriage or relationship is perfect. I think I learned this watching my parents alternate between arguing with great passion and heat -- and in the very same breath bearing witness to that same intensity spill over into their love for one another.

Five Secrets of Happyish Married Couples

Melissa Chapman | Posted 08.02.2014 | Weddings
Melissa Chapman

I would be doing you a huge disservice and basically lying through my teeth if I told you that marriage is always smooth sailing. It isn't, but nothing that is truly worth it's weight is easy.

Sometimes We Need to Walk in Our Spouse's Shoes Before We Can Truly Understand Them

Melissa Chapman | Posted 07.20.2014 | Weddings
Melissa Chapman

Sometimes we need to walk in our spouse's shoes before we can truly understand them.

In My Marital Courtship Timing Was Everything

Melissa Chapman | Posted 07.08.2014 | Weddings
Melissa Chapman

My daughter, who has become utterly fascinated by the huge age gap between my husband and I recently asked my husband why, after all those years of being alone did he finally choose me?

3 Reasons Getting Rid of Fleas Is the GLUE That Holds a Marriage Together

Melissa Chapman | Posted 06.18.2014 | Fifty
Melissa Chapman

I was recently on Facebook and someone asked a question, "Would you consider the first year of marriage to be a honeymoon?" To which I responded, "Hell to the No. It is a period of adjustment and trying to find your new normal."

In the Mundane and Ordinary of Motherhood I've Found my Happiness

Melissa Chapman | Posted 06.09.2014 | Parents
Melissa Chapman

All that wanderlust I had in 20 years has dissipated and I can't imagine needing or searching for anything more than what I have right here. Right now.

There Are Some Arguments That a Marriage Must Endure

Melissa Chapman | Posted 04.27.2014 | Religion
Melissa Chapman

Whether or not Gd/Hashem exists, this religion has made my daughter see the world as a benevolent place, to see a higher power as forgiving and loving -- and to feel this sense of security about her destiny in a way that my husband never will.

4 Ways Having a Son Has Helped Me to Better Understand My Husband

Melissa Chapman | Posted 04.21.2014 | Parents
Melissa Chapman

Boys, like men, CANNOT multitask. If I ask my son a question while he is doing ANYTHING -- watching TV, brushing his teeth, staring into space -- he will likely ignore me (as will my husband). Scratch that. He won't ignore me, he just won't hear me.

Laura Linney Gives Birth to a Baby Boy at Age 49 and the Question Remains, Should You Ever Give Up Your Dream to Conceive?

Melissa Chapman | Posted 03.22.2014 | Parents
Melissa Chapman

With my son, it was a completely different experience. At the time, like many other women, I just assumed that as an early thirties mom, as soon as my husband and I started "trying" to get pregnant, we'd be blessed with another little fetus.

Rules for Raising a Mama's Boy

Melissa Chapman | Posted 03.15.2014 | Parents
Melissa Chapman

As a mother, I cannot imagine that anyone could love my children as much or as unconditionally as I love them.

The Best Love Advice I've Ever Received

Dr. Shannon Kolakowski | Posted 02.09.2014 | Women
Dr. Shannon Kolakowski

Most of us, at some point in our lives, have heard a great piece of advice about love. Perhaps it's something from your mother or father, a grandparent, a mentor, a friend, something you've read -- a piece of advice that has stayed with you and has helped you find love.

Can a Marriage Without Kids Survive?

Melissa Chapman | Posted 01.23.2014 | Women
Melissa Chapman

For me kids are a life game changer -- and while I would never stay in my marriage if I felt it was no longer a loving and supportive relationship, I know that having my kids keeps me grounded and forces me to work on it so that I can provide them with a two parent home that is their soft place to fall.

A Letter to My Daughter: 3 Tools She Needs in Her Arsenal When it Comes to Women

Melissa Chapman | Posted 12.07.2013 | Parents
Melissa Chapman

Being that my womb is no longer open for procreation -- thereby making it IMPOSSIBLE to give my daughter a sister -- I figure at the very least I can jot off a life list that -- should she choose to -- she can carry with her, as a reminder that she is not alone in her thoughts and her strength needs to come from within.

In a Marriage, Is Silence Golden or Deadly?

Melissa Chapman | Posted 11.16.2013 | Divorce
Melissa Chapman

Before you start writing us off -- and taking bets on who will get to keep the house (FYI -- my husband says he will be buried in our house) here are my thoughts on the all-important "is silence golden or deadly to your relationship?" debate:

What Advice Would You Give Your Younger Self About Marriage?

Melissa Chapman | Posted 10.19.2013 | Weddings
Melissa Chapman

I wonder, having had the experience and knowledge I have now -- would I have done it all the same? The Answer: Yes, but gosh if I could give my 25-year-old self advice about the next 14 years of life and marriage here are just a few things I would say:

If Your Spouse Cheated, Would You Demand All the Nitty-Gritty Details?

Melissa Chapman | Posted 10.02.2013 | Divorce
Melissa Chapman

Why would a woman want to hear the lurid details of her husband's sexual encounters with another woman?