When it comes to the fringes, neither side is really fighting about what they say they are -- they're projecting and acting out much deeper hurts. The 150 or so attendees of the convention I went to weren't all monsters by any stretch of the imagination. But I daresay most of them weren't very happy people either.
Bigoted people of all stripes and sizes will continue to cling to their prejudices and sadly, they will even demand that their intolerant and inaccurate beliefs be the standard by which all of society lives. It's time to call them on their hate and stop equating them with valid and informed stances.
There are plenty of ways the law (particularly family law) and popular culture, as represented by the media, have limited men. But we have no one to blame but ourselves. We made the laws. We control the media. Our popular culture has dumbed down men to sex- and sports-crazed idiots, with very little space for the nuanced truth of how hard it is to try to be a good dad and a good husband and breadwinner