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16 Undeniable Signs You're Getting Older

Carolyn Bucior | Posted 12.29.2014 | Fifty
Carolyn Bucior

Do you own 'TV pants'? When driving, do you strongly prefer right turns over lefts? Have you ever typed your birth year into an online form, then became startled when you had to scroll...and reach that year? If so, pull on those stretchy pants, have a seat, and let me know I'm not alone here.

Don't Fart During an MRI

Elaine Ambrose | Posted 12.24.2014 | Comedy
Elaine Ambrose

I share this true but pathetic story to commiserate with other tortured souls who relentlessly endure and survive extreme humiliation. We're a group of accident-prone fools who regularly trigger embarrassing situations that would permanently traumatize a normal person.

Reinventing Your Midlife Relationship -- With Yourself

Nancy Michaels | Posted 12.25.2014 | Fifty
Nancy Michaels

Unconditional love only happens between parent and child -- not spouses. Ok, I know this hurts. We want to believe in soul mates, true partners and the belief that regardless of what either of you do, love will prevail.

How To Survive The Holidays As A Blended Family (Without Calling The Cops)

Elaine Ambrose | Posted 12.24.2014 | Divorce
Elaine Ambrose

With coordinated logistics, bribes and chocolate, combined families can learn how to survive without a food fight, bloodletting or lawsuits. Just keep the wine and the children breathing.

Why Millions Of Middle-Aged Women Are So Irritated

Elaine Ambrose | Posted 12.24.2014 | Fifty
Elaine Ambrose

Here is a clear plea, written in legible 12-point type, from middle-aged women to package designers. Increase the size of the print on your products because our eyesight is weaker, our patience is shorter, and our brand loyalty is volatile. Give us big type or skip the hype because we're not buying it anymore.

"I Love My Mother. But If She Passed Away Today I Would Be Thankful"

Elaine Ambrose | Posted 12.23.2014 | Fifty
Elaine Ambrose

I love my mother. But if she passed away today I would be thankful. That doesn't make me a heartless, horrible daughter; I only want her to be free from earthly constraints and permanent disability.

Are You Too Old to Say, 'My Bad?'

Stephanie D. Lewis | Posted 12.21.2014 | Fifty
Stephanie D. Lewis

Mattressable -- adj. A term used for a woman who is easy to sleep with. "Cynthia didn't throw the covers off and on according to her body temperature fluctuation, nor admonish him for breathing, blinking, snoring, therefore Steve deemed her highly Mattressable."

6 Tips For Successfully Adjusting To An Empty Nest

Elaine Ambrose | Posted 12.21.2014 | Fifty
Elaine Ambrose

The shocking and painful reality hit me as my last child drove away to college: I will live without my children longer than I will live with them. I stood alone in the empty house and howled like a wounded beast. Then I blew my nose, grabbed my work gloves, and proceeded to convert my son's bedroom into a writing studio. Finally, Mama created her own space!

The Gift That Should Have Killed Me

Jennifer Boykin | Posted 12.19.2014 | Healthy Living
Jennifer Boykin

"24 years. 364 days. Today. Just for today." That was one of my first thoughts upon awakening this morning. You see, I am an alcoholic. Fortunate...

Learning To Live Out Loud In The Second Half Of My Life

Linda Wolff | Posted 12.18.2014 | Fifty
Linda Wolff

Learning to live out loud in my second half wasn't originally my goal, but it happened anyway. I pretty much spent a lifetime fluffing the pillows in my cushy comfort zone. But all that changed four years ago when I took a chance as the empty nest began to creep up on me. Fueled by hysteria and impulse I decided to pursue my first love ... writing.

My Phantom Daughter-in-Law

Amy Barr | Posted 12.15.2014 | Fifty
Amy Barr

The transition from full time advisor to mind-your-own-beeswax bystander feels pretty jarring. After all, the role of daughter-in-law is a big position that someone will ultimately play in our lives.

This Is What To Tell Yourself When You Can't Sleep At Night

Kat Forsythe, MSW | Posted 12.13.2014 | Fifty
Kat Forsythe, MSW

Anxiety is the big gun in regularly occurring insomnia. What do you think or say when you're jolted awake? Monitoring the messages we give ourselves may be the trick we need to get back into la-la land.

Why Funny Is Always Fashionable

Elaine Ambrose | Posted 12.10.2014 | Fifty
Elaine Ambrose

You know you're at peace with yourself and the universe if you can enter a crowded social function, scan the room, and then join the group creating the most laughter.

Get Plastic Surgery Or Buy A Car?

Elaine Ambrose | Posted 12.07.2014 | Style
Elaine Ambrose

He looked at me and caught his breath. I was the perfect candidate for his advertisements that revealed the "before" photograph... the one that shows just how grotesque the human body can become.

Midlife Reflection or Just Jewish?

Alisa Schindler | Posted 12.03.2014 | Religion
Alisa Schindler

Lately I've been thinking I'm suffering from a midlife crisis. I'm contemplative and reflective. I'm wistful and full of regret. I'm appreciative for what I have, yet searching for things I don't.

Middle (St)age: I Got a Million of 'Em

Stacia Fernandez | Posted 12.02.2014 | Fifty
Stacia Fernandez

I never heard of a life hack until recently. I thought it was what my Grandpa Henry was doing almost constantly by the age of 80 after he smoked two packs of cigarettes his whole life. Or maybe what our first cat, Brownie, was doing under the bed when she would leave us little fur encrusted gifts. Mmmmmm. Life Hacks.

The Inevitability of Change

Suzanne Stavert | Posted 11.29.2014 | Fifty
Suzanne Stavert

I have reached midlife, my children are grown and are building lives on their own. My nest is empty and now it is time to refocus on me. I want to learn, I want to achieve, I want to share, I want to experience life in a new way. I want to find adventure.

101 Effective (But Simple) Practices For Loving Yourself More Deeply

Jennifer Boykin | Posted 11.28.2014 | Fifty
Jennifer Boykin

Over the next week or two, that phrase, 'extreme self-care' sort of haunted me -- but in a good way. I got curious what extreme self-care would look like in my own life. And, I was curious about if and how our community could benefit.

Yoga for the Middle-Aged Crowd

Chris Dean | Posted 11.26.2014 | Comedy
Chris Dean

The one thing I have noticed about this whole Yo-splosion thing, is much of it seems to be aimed at the 20 something crowd. If it's really that good for an aging body, why not forget the friggin' Hipsters and throw us over 40 crowd a bone?

Ladies Who Lunch

Linda Wolff | Posted 11.23.2014 | Fifty
Linda Wolff

Around the table our ages ranged from 48-59, of which I'm on the lower end, but not lowest (though I'm holding on to that like a pageant girls' sash), so after catching up with the lives of our mostly grown kids, you can imagine conversation quickly moved to how our bodies have morphed over the years. Not just weight gain, but some seismic shifting too.

Off and Running: One 46-Year-Old's Foray Into Physical Fitness

Alexander Smith | Posted 11.22.2014 | Healthy Living
Alexander Smith

Given my penchant for excess, the threat of encroaching girth, the spread of silver across my scalp and various other worrying factors, I started ruminating about the concept of taking up running.

The 5 Stages Of Stuff: How To Make Downsizing Easier

Rachel Adelson | Posted 11.19.2014 | Fifty
Rachel Adelson

Theory is one thing, practice is another. I could write all day about aging in place and downsizing. Hey, wait. I have written all day about aging in place and downsizing. Then I actually downsized. And moved. And lived in a hotel for a month in between. It was all such a hassle that all I could think was, 'No wonder people put this off!'

Menopause Cafe: Would You Like a Side of Heatballs With the Menopasta??

Stephanie D. Lewis | Posted 11.18.2014 | Fifty
Stephanie D. Lewis

In this day and age, (especially at my age!) with the influx of baby boomer women reaching their mid-life years, it's about time someone finally got smart and opened a restaurant specializing in issues exclusive to menopausal females. Women come to these establishments for a little R&R, hence their name -- "Rest-or-Rants!"

How To Survive And Thrive In Your New Empty Nest

Sharon Greenthal | Posted 11.13.2014 | Fifty
Sharon Greenthal

The college kids have headed back to their messy apartments or moved for the first time into their dorm rooms. So how are you feeling, parents? Will you miss those kids? Other than when our children are born, there's no bigger change in our lives as parents than when our children leave home. It's a shock to the system -- but there are good things about empty nesting, too.

Middle (St)age: Welcome to My Profession

Stacia Fernandez | Posted 11.12.2014 | Fifty
Stacia Fernandez

Well, I know we all have stories about our careers. Maybe you have a few little ditties and water cooler stories to tell. The following is one of mine...