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Mixed Orientation Marriages

The Saga of Grace and Frankie: Redefining Marriage When a Man Comes Out as Gay

Joe Kort, Ph.D. | Posted 05.15.2016 | Queer Voices
Joe Kort, Ph.D.

Chronologically they may be in their 30's, 40's, 50s or 60s, but in "gay years" they are maybe only 15. They have come into their own and are not thinking as an adult about the rest of the people with whom they are in relationship.

The Real Learning Channel: A Straight Spouse Of A Gay Husband Speaks Out

Emily F. Reese | Posted 02.02.2016 | Queer Voices
Emily F. Reese

As the hype around the TLC show My Husband's Not Gay begins to wane, I find it a shame that there has been little attention paid to the perspectives of straight women who have experienced being in a mixed-orientation marriage, where one spouse is gay and the other is straight.

Your Gay vs. My Gay: Coming Out and Becoming a Better Parent

Janet Mason | Posted 02.02.2016 | Queer Voices
Janet Mason

Bonnie Kaye, M.Ed., is an internationally known author and counselor to straight women who are married to gay men. She also counsels closeted gay men on how honesty can help them and their female spouses. Here she answers my question.

Is Your Husband Gay? Don't Be So Sure

Joe Kort, Ph.D. | Posted 01.26.2015 | Divorce
Joe Kort, Ph.D.

Jennifer discovered from her husband Tom's emails that he was meeting Brad for sex. She came to see me, heartbroken, sure that her marriage to her "gay" husband was doomed. But when I examined Tom, I discovered he wasn't gay.

If My Spouse Were Gay!

Rick Clemons | Posted 02.02.2016 | Queer Voices
Rick Clemons

First reactions to the coming out of a spouse are typically gnashing of teeth, screaming in anger, and raising hands to the heavens, crying, "Why me?" I'm not going to ask you not to have those types of reactions. You're human, for crying out loud! What I'm going to invite you to do is try a few new thoughts on for size, thoughts laced in love and understanding.

I'm Gay and Married to a Heterosexual!

Rick Clemons | Posted 02.02.2016 | Queer Voices
Rick Clemons

Shocking as it might seem, societal pressure, hoping it's a passing phase, and denial of self, often lead to "I'm married and a closet homosexual." Ye...

Rick Perry, This Is What Happens When People Are Forced to Live in the Closet

Juliet Jeske | Posted 02.02.2016 | Queer Voices
Juliet Jeske

Rick, do you ever wonder what happens to gay men and women when they try to force themselves to live a lie? Well Rick, I've got news for you. Most mixed orientation marriages end catastrophically, with both partners greatly damaged. I was in one of those marriages.

The Gay Man Who Sought a Straight Woman for Marriage

Rick R. Reed | Posted 02.02.2016 | Queer Voices
Rick R. Reed

Unlike my main character in Legally Wed, I did not come up with the idea one drunken night. For a young man growing up in the 1970s, the road to fulfillment was through marriage to a woman. When I married the female love of my life, there was no other road open.

The New Mixed Marriage: One Straight Spouse, One Gay Spouse

Joe Kort, Ph.D. | Posted 02.02.2016 | Queer Voices
Joe Kort, Ph.D.

Most people judge the gay spouses of mixed-orientation couples, asking why they married in the first place. They judge the straight spouse for wanting to stay. Others judge the couple if they choose to remain together and make a go of it.

One 'Straight Spouse' For Marriage Equality

Juliet Jeske | Posted 02.02.2016 | Queer Voices
Juliet Jeske

Had my former spouse and countless others felt that they had the option to marry and raise children with a same-sex partner, the plight of many "straight spouses" like me could have been avoided.

For Bi Guys Thinking Of Coming Out

Patrick RichardsFink | Posted 02.02.2016 | Queer Voices
Patrick RichardsFink

Reach out and join the bisexual community. Knowing them -- knowing us -- will help you, and by joining the community you also make it larger, and thus you make it easier for the next bi guy to come out and be himself on his own terms.

Not All 'Straight Spouses' Are Straight: Bisexual Spouses In Mixed-Orientation Marriages

Amity P. Buxton | Posted 02.02.2016 | Queer Voices
Amity P. Buxton

Like straight spouses, whose post-disclosure experience is overlooked in the excitement of their partners' disclosure, the reality and experience of bisexual spouses in mixed-orientation marriages need to become more visible.