Although the words "hurry up" did little if nothing to increase my child's speed, I said them anyway. Maybe even more than the words, "I love you." The truth hurts, but the truth heals... and brings me closer to the parent I want to be.
I have grieved for myself, for the life I could have had. For the woman I could have been. But I have never grieved for the child I was going to have. Because I have Owen. That is the child I've been given.
The healing in this story is not that I have wholly accepted my body or that I will never again attempt to change it. It is that now when rejection rises in me against my body -- how it looks, how it feels -- I have a fuller answer.
So often our kids' challenges are described in terms of impairment (disability, special needs), words that encompass their entire beings. But "rebel" makes it clear it's just a part of them that's acting up. It doesn't let their challenges define who they are.