Though he would never tell you exactly how to party, Andrew W.K. was kind enough to share his very professional opinion on what people can do wherever they are, to maximize every element of their night. Here they are, in all their glory.
While Mr. Obama may be a citizen of the world, his voters are citizens of America. It's because of this that, try as he might, he cannot ignore the domestic interest: dwindling quality of life in America.