Nearly five years ago, something happened deep in the Colombian jungle that made this week's signing of a peace deal possible. It was a first, risky step, relayed to me by William Ury, co-author of a seminal book on negotiation Getting to Yes.
Violence in conflict does not discriminate. Men, women and children suffer from starvation, bombings, forced disappearances and torture. They equally experience traumatic loss when driven out of their homes.
I was recently speaking with a coaching prospect who wants to take his freelance business full-time. I asked him what some of his concerns were and the first thing he said was he wasn't sure how to negotiate his rates.
No matter what field or industry you may be in, chances are you will find yourself face-to-face with skeptics. Everyone faces skeptics in their life. No matter how successful you are or what you have already accomplished, there will be people who are skeptical of you and your success.
When I negotiate, whether it's a new business deal or an employee's salary, I am all about reaching a mutually beneficial agreement. As much as I always want to "win," my goal is not to take everything I can get and milk the other side dry.
One key to successful negotiation is creating a deep feeling of connection with the person you are communicating with. Think about it. Don't people say yes much more often when they're already comfortable with you?
My early mentor, the legendary decision scientist and author of numerous books, Howard Raiffa once said, "It is often easier to deal with someone who is acting like a jerk who knows what he wants than a seemingly pleasant person who doesn't."
Ever wonder how to be more effective when negotiating a salary or raise? If so, read my interview with Bobbi Thomason, Senior Fellow and Lecturer at The Wharton School and International Researcher for Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead.
A male entrepreneur recently said to me, "I don't believe that women make $.77 on the dollar." My initial response was to ask if he believed in gravity, in the hope of illustrating to him that the existence of anything is not contingent on his belief in it.
My own minor, rather frivolous, contribution to the creation of the new diplomatic jargon -- pubic diplomacy -- did not appeal to the wordmasters of the universe. But it does occasionally appears as a typo in some U.S. Embassy internal memoranda.