As a child psychologist, I know how hard it is to tell your child that they have to spend their summer vacation with their noncustodial parent. I have assisted with these kinds of conversations a lot over the years and it never gets any easier.
In my state, as a man, if you want something other than the SPO and non-custodial parent role, you're going to have to fight. You're going to have to disagree with your expensive 'parenting planning' and PH.D family therapist.
For some children, divorce calls into question the very nature of parental love. The child may think to himself, "If my parents can decide they don't love each other anymore, maybe they can stop loving me."