Onion News Network

2040 Presidential Election Already Ruined By Facebook

The Huffington Post | Katla McGlynn | Posted 04.28.2012

It's hard to imagine what the 2040 presidential election will really be like, but if it's anything like the 2012 election, everything the candidates h...

WATCH: Beyonce Forced To Give Up Baby?

Posted 01.11.2012

In a report from Onion News Network, Beyonce has been forced to give up newborn daughter Blue Ivy Carter to the witch who granted her her beautiful si...

WATCH: IFC Bets On Your Favorite Comedians

The Huffington Post | Ross Luippold | Posted 01.09.2012

With the announcement of two new TV shows featuring some of the most innovative yet largely untapped comedic talent in America, cable channel IFC prov...

WATCH: 11 Best Internet Videos Of 2011

Posted 12.30.2011

Mark your comedy calendars: 2011 may be the last year that there's a difference between "TV sketches" and "Internet sketches." More and more, the ...

WATCH: Who Is With Ashton Now?

Posted 12.14.2011

Now that Ashton Kutcher is a swingin' bachelor once again, Onion News Network's Starfix reports that he has not been shy in bringing around a mysterio...

WATCH: Face Tattoos, Unemployment Linked?!

Posted 11.29.2011

You may think the nation's high unemployment is due to the recession, but that's not the whole story. Have you noticed that up to 35% of Americans now...

Katla McGlynn

The Onion News Network To Reveal All Its Secrets

HuffingtonPost.com | Katla McGlynn | Posted 01.08.2012

President Obama punches a Wall Street Banker in the face. Terrorists plant Decoy Muslims on U.S. soil. New diet suggests imagining food as horrific ni...

WATCH: Ted Allen Prepares 'Pretentious Foodie Bullsh*t Meal'

Posted 01.07.2012

On Friday's episode of IFC's Onion News Network, Ted Allen, culinary expert, Chopped judge and author of the (fake) cookbook Pretentious Foodie Bulls...

PREVIEW: The 2011 New York Comedy Festival

Matt Wilstein | Posted 01.06.2012

Matt Wilstein

This week, the New York Comedy Festival takes over NYC with everything from small shows in the back of Brooklyn bars to headlining double-header sets at large theaters.

The Onion: Obama Heroically Punches Wall Street Banker

Posted 12.12.2011

In a report from Onion News Network, President Obama affirmed his solidarity with the Occupy Wall Street Protestors by punching a Wall Street banker i...

WATCH: Apple Announces Steve Jobs 2

Posted 12.10.2011

Now that the last American who knew what he was doing has sadly passed on, Apple has announced the second generation Steve Jobs, according to a report...

WATCH: Americans With Hateful Faces Speak Out On ONN

Posted 12.05.2011

The season two premiere of The Onion News Network was all about the end of the world, but that didn't stop the broadcast from taking time to look at t...

Ice T & Coco To Save The World With 'Ass Gravity'

Posted 12.04.2011

The Onion News Network, Ice T & Coco, and the end of the world... together at last. An earth-killing asteroid is barreling down us and will make co...

ONN's Brooke Alvarez Talks New Season, End Of The World

Posted 12.03.2011

When ONN premieres its second season on IFC Tuesday night, it will return with the most formidable host in television news: Brooke Alvarez. Alvare...

Carol Hartsell

The Onion To Lose Top Editor In Chicago Move

HuffingtonPost.com | Carol Hartsell | Posted 11.29.2011

When The Onion consolidates its entire staff under one roof next June, it will be doing so without its current editor. Joe Randazzo, who has been ...

Carol Hartsell

Big Changes At The Onion

HuffingtonPost.com | Carol Hartsell | Posted 11.21.2011

NEW YORK -- The editorial team of The Onion, the beloved satirical newspaper that has called New York City its home for the last 10 years, may be movi...

The Funniest Sketches By SNL's Newest Writer

The Huffington Post | Christine Friar | Posted 11.15.2011

It was announced today that Onion News Network veteran and current Funny Or Die writer Chris Kelly will be joining the staff at "Saturday Night Live" ...

WATCH: 'Onion News Network' Demystifies Comic Sans

Posted 10.24.2011

When it comes to fonts, there's only one that's ALWAYS associated with humor: Comic Sans! Typography buffs will usually go for a Helvetica or some ...

Strike Averted: 'Onion' Writers Join Writers Guild Of America

The Huffington Post | Ross Luippold | Posted 10.02.2011

The Writers Guild of America has announced that the writers for "Onion News Network" have joined its ranks after a standoff with The Onion, Inc. over ...

The Onion's World Peace-Inducing Religion Reporting (PHOTOS, VIDEOS)

Posted 09.18.2011

HuffPost Religion would like to pay homage to America's finest Pulitzer-deserving news source: The Onion. With a finger on the pulse of American an...

WATCH: Millions Probably Not Dead After Minor Train Wreck

Posted 09.11.2011

Onion News Network reports on a train wreck that probably didn't cause the deaths of millions, despite the irrational fear it has inspired in the imag...

WATCH: All Your Questions About 'The Onion' Answered

The Huffington Post | Carol Hartsell | Posted 08.23.2011

Editor of "The Onion" Joe Randazzo stopped by "Morning Joe" on Thursday to talk about the paper's campaign to be honored with a Pulitzer, as well as t...

ONN: 'Green Lantern' Definitely A Thing

Posted 08.15.2011

Hey, remember Green Lantern? Yeah? Well, good news: there's a Green Lantern movie coming out that you definitely want to see. In fact, it's going to ...

WATCH: National Dating Standards Lowered?

Posted 08.05.2011

In order to stimulate the flagging dating sector, the Federal Dating Agency has temporarily lowered the national dating standard. Did those words m...

'ONN': Economy Failing Because U.S. Built On Ancient Indian Burial Ground

Posted 08.02.2011

"Republicans want the curse to hold so they can paint Obama as being soft on poltergeists..." How many times have we heard that argument from a pun...