After class, I drive to a greenway nearby and find a bench. I take a few deep breaths, then call my ex. Our conversation isn't necessarily any different than it has been in the past. And yet, everything seems different. I am grounded, calm, empowered, non-reactive. I am able to separate my "stuff" from his. This is new. This is HUGE!
That's when I realized that I could proactively ALTER my reaction to that bridge by controlling how I felt when I ARRIVED. I just had to arrive at a zero or a one and I would barely even feel it, no matter what direction I traveled in. I began to wonder if I could do the same thing with my fear of flying.
Uncertainty often makes us hesitant, but when used as motivation, it can produce the most outstanding results. The most successful people I've come across have mental discipline, they harness uncertainty and embrace the possibility of failure. As Mike has shown, a lifetime of success far outweighs temporary discomfort.
Follow your fear. There's glory on the other side of the tunnel. You won't be able to see the light on the other side...maybe even for awhile. You won't ever be ready. You won't ever be totally confident. You won't ever grow the courage. You grow the courage by doing it even though you aren't ready.
I know that many of us allow fear to mark our souls and determine our future. What I intend to propose here is that instead of using those marks as arguments to justify not growing, they should serve the purpose of helping us embrace vulnerability as a valuable tool for resilience, courage and happiness.
Many people complain that abandonment imprisons them behind a wall of their own making. They get caught up in patterns of constant re-abandonment (abandoholism) or avoid relationships altogether to avoid the pain (abandophobism). Others are in a relationship but feel chronic heartache and uncertainty. They're shrouded in shame for feeling so needy.