Our merit has been enhanced ... with positive white biases and negative black ones. Goodness, first and foremost, starts with honesty. Getting honest about white privilege is a great place for good people to start.
Whether you're confronting someone with a "victim" mentality or transforming your own negativity, being empathic is vital. Elevating you to the realm of the heart, empathy allows you to non-defensively understand, even have mercy on antagonizers.
Whatever's missing is what you're not giving, because everything is already within you. This is one of the greatest truths ever revealed by the master teachers throughout the ages. But simply knowing this truth isn't enough. We must consciously activate and participate in it.
If you have a victim mentality -- in other words, if you feel powerless to affect your circumstances -- you are likely to feel that the world is "doing it" to you and that there is nothing you can do about it.