Looking at this picture, I have to pause. I look at me -- past vs. present. People say they do not recognize the girl in the other pictures. I'm here to say: that girl is me. Don't speak of her as if she is a poor, piteous person. She's not. She's me. She's standing right here, and she is f***ing strong.
If you are struggling with an addiction and considering giving it up, you will likely have to deal with some ambivalence. With help, willingness and positive changes, you can learn to feel your emotions fully until they pass, retrain your brain till it's filled with kinder thoughts, and fill some of the spaces that addiction attempts to temporarily fill. You can challenge the powerful voice of addiction until your ambivalence turns into clarity, conviction and compassion.