I know that it's good for us to be apart. I know she thrives when socializing with other kids and developing relationships with family and close friends. But I feel horrible for abandoning her, and wonder if she internalizes it as "mama cares about something else more than me."
This post isn't about making you feel bad about yourself. It's a reminder: Don't judge yourself too harshly against the idealized versions of family that people put out there. Also, don't judge other parents too harshly when the choices they make are different than your own.
I placed my bet and I placed it on misbehavior. Truth be told, the kids were up late the night before and my spider senses were tingling, telling me that these kids would be headed for a total meltdown if we went out at night.
Who says that the second we have kids, we're supposed to behave like saints, suddenly free of the baggage we've carried around for years? I personally wish someone had pulled me aside at a young age and explained that parents are just trying to find their way as they go.
The microscope will make you anxious. It will make you question every decision you make and do things that you wouldn't ordinarily do. It will add significant stress to your parenting experience, if you let it.