Written by Allison Benedikt for Slate
“This makes me want to never have children.”
That was the IM I got from a fellow Slate contributor aft...
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For the sake of argument, let's explore the possibility that spoiling our children -- creating "brats" who are very comfortable being waited and doted upon -- is good for them.
Parents, it's about finding the right balance and that means taking into account not just your family, including that little darling emptying salt & pepper shakers on the table, but the people all around you as well.
Ever tried any of these on your kids? "Wait until your father gets home." "Don't make me come in there." Or the famous, "You'll do it because I said so." How'd it work?
Basically Amy Chua wrote the book we didn't. Which means my own Tiger Mother was right: my laziness was going to be my "downfall" one day.
Chua explains that Chinese mothers (and parents from other non-white American cultural groups) think about children differently. They think about potential, rather than protection.
The challenge is not that you are going to have conflicts with your children, but whether they develop into full-scale war that drives you and your children apart.
I wonder whether we Europeans -- who place so much importance on modesty -- cannot perhaps learn something from our transatlantic cousins when it comes to praising children.
Shining light on our "shadow side," the Hogan instruments help people become aware of their derailers-- a strength gone awry.
I don't have kids. Let's call it "Roomy Nest Syndrome." But that doesn't stop me from reading Lisa Belkin whenever I can.
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