I am 8 months pregnant with my first child and have had people tell me some amazing things about pregnancy and having a baby. I have also had the pleasure of hearing some true gems from people who have said not so wonderful things.
I may not have gotten the birth of my dreams, but I did get the life of my dreams: one filled with excitement, joy, and more love than I ever imagined possible.
In an attempt to be the Friend Who Gives You Unsolicited But Useful Advice, here are some things you need to know if you have a C-section, courtesy of yours truly.
My children are two of the best things that have ever happened to me. They made me into a better person than I was. They bring me joy that I've never experienced before. When they smile and laugh, I do too. I can't help myself. I've never loved anyone the way I do these two.
The first poop in the bathtub. Bonus points if this occurs while you're bathing other siblings at the same time.
Right up until last week, I really convinced myself that once son number two had finished school, I was pretty much done as a parent. In 2022 I'd go back to my life as a 32-year-old, circa 2002.
I used to have plans! I used to have fun! Did this simply cease, due to my oven and bun? Pregnant women get tired, sure sometimes we're slow, But guys, that's not me! Where the fuck did you go?!
It may not have been your first thought when you looked at this picture of me at 39 weeks and two days pregnant, playing with my children in our backyard. But it's true.
The thrill of a successful trip to the potty rivals that of your first kiss, getting a work promotion and winning the lottery -- combined.
Here's my advice to those well-meaning "experienced" moms who just want to shake me when they see me frazzled in the grocery store, not exactly appreciating every moment.
A thorough search of the house has failed to turn up any of these books, but we're also missing one half of every pair of socks my son has ever owned from birth through age 3, so there's almost definitely a secret hiding spot somewhere that I haven't discovered yet.
Romance shows up differently for different couples. Most of all, sometimes looking too hard for romance the way you expect it might make you miss the real things when they show up.
Every parent of an older (or adult) kid likes to remind you how you'll miss these early days. But I think what those moms are secretly trying to say is that they miss being young, too.
Leaving the house in the morning with my little towhead in tow has never been an easy undertaking. But when I returned to work and he began day care, the "struggle" became real.
When baby comes, most of baby shower stuff is forgotten. The thing the new parents are most grateful for? Like, so grateful they're practically in tears? Visitors who bring food.
I'm not saying that parents who let their children cry in the night are doing anything wrong. But what I am saying is that when I hear other parents say, "Your baby would sleep through the night if you let her cry it out," I think to myself, "You may be right, but the thing is, I just can't."