Many people hold an erroneous belief: If I yell at you, then you will hear me. This, of course, often is not the case. In fact, most people shut down and stop listening when they are being yelled at.
We often have several "primary agreements" in our intimate relationships. We agree to take care of each other, as well as to be nice, to protect and not to hurt each other. "I've got your back! I wont hurt you, and I wont let any one else hurt you! You're safe with me!"