In our interviews with hundreds of long-married couples about what works and what doesn't for a long and satisfying relationship... it turns out that our elders believe there's something close to a 'magic bullet' when it comes to deciding in a relationship: 'Should I stay or should I go?'
These "experts" on marriage agreed that one thing all couples need to do -- if you want to remain married as long as they have -- is to learn to communicate about conflicts. More specifically, we all need to learn how to fight.
You can't spend your time calculating "50 percent in, 50 percent back." The attitude has to be one of giving freely. And according to the elders, if you start keeping score you're already in deep trouble.