Play is more a state of mind than an activity. Play creates options; it is the opposite of the highly planned, organized and goal-oriented existence we had built for ourselves. For us, play has become a way to learn to hold even our most entrenched opinions lightly and create awareness of new options.
Control has become such an important part of my sexual identity, it even factors into the type of sex that I'll have. This is my moment to feel whole as a man; it is a split second in time that is not regulated by bookings, bed times and schedules. I get to actually have someone there with me out of want -- not necessity.