Say what you want about 2013. But before you dismiss it, cranky style, for being as lousy as any other year you didn't get everything you wanted from Santa, try to remember the few good things that happened in the last twelve months.
Just when we thought it couldn't get any better than a story about Michele Bachmann stranded in Siberia, we get this. Sizzle!
The following message is brought to you by "The Republican Effort to Totally Revamp Ourselves in 2014" or... RETRO 2014.
Eschewing insurance in favor of joining "a nationwide network of Christians who save money by sharing each other's medical bills" may not bring on the wrath of the the IRS -- but there could be punishing bills from medical providers.
The conservative publishing house Regnery, publishing home of profound thinkers like Newt Gingrich and Ann Coulter, has licensed Charlie Brown, along with the rest of the Peanuts troupe, for a planned "Little Patriot" series of books for children.
We know the Republicans would like to forget how St. Eisenhower's prosperity was due in part to high corporate tax rates and massive spending on infrastructure. So what was it?
Wow. We've lived in this era of unchecked corporate greed for a while now. So it's rare that a company's actions take our breath away. But there you have it. The McDonald's hotline stopped just short of pointing out how much cheaper it is to kill yourself.
That's when I found the progressive movement: the informal network of people and organizations working across race, class, sexuality, and origin to hold America to its best values, to the vision that all of us are created equal, and with inalienable rights
It would seem a stretch to believe that, with all they're doing to wage war on women, conservatives would think that women would vote for them in droves -- if only they truly understood the conservative message.
Ethics can evolve along with every area of human discovery, for instance, beyond ugly biblical myths born of justifying tribal hatred and ethnic -- God-made-us-do-it -- cleansing after the fact.
One final question: what if, in addition to phone calls, I could get you massive amounts of personal data -- family squabbles, medical problems, sexual proclivities, the most shameful perversions you can imagine.
There are new revelations in the evolving Rand Paul plagiarism scandal! As it turns out, not only has the senator repeatedly lifted material verbatim from newspaper columns, magazines, books and even Wikipedia -- now he's trying to steal the plot of Les Miserables.
When Obama accepted this conservative health care proposal, how did the Republicans respond? Republican Congressman Todd Akin spoke for much of his Party: "Today America is threatened with a Stage Three cancer of socialism, and ObamaCare is Exhibit 1."
We're relieved to hear that former child star Britney Spears isn't twerking or going on homophobic rants or getting drunk or becoming a go-go boy. She's helping to keep the seas safe! As Britney might say herself, you better work, bitch.
1. Maximum Age for Dependent Medical Coverage: ObamaCare: 26; MamaCare: None. It's always and forever